The Cost of Destiny
by Carol Sandford
~Chapters 1 to 5 ~Chapters 6 to 10 ~Chapters 11 to 15 ~Chapters 16 to 20 ~Chapters 21 to 25 ~Chapters 26 to 30 ~Chapters 31 to 35~ ~Chapters 41 to 45~ ~Chapters 46 to End~
Chapter 36 to 40
Chapter thirty six
The Sindareen pilot winced as he felt his Captain's fingertips dig into his shoulder as they all stared out of the screen ahead at the arriving Federation fleet, the morbid fascination at facing their enemy head on bringing an evil grin of satisfaction to his leaders face. He knew this because he heard the familiar grunt of devilish glee leave his mouth, and of course, the excited pressure of his thick, strong fingers. Both of which he reluctantly ignored for fear of retribution.
Maror barely turned his head to the man behind him, but his eyes never left the screen ahead as he snarled, "Bring me the girl." The silent rush of anticipation swept through the bridge crew as the imminent confrontation was at last about to happen. Some welcomed it, and some did not. The man beneath his leaders fingers was one of the latter. Of all the bridge crew, he was the one that had something to live for; A family. A home. A life, back on Sindar.
Without uttering a word the man spun on his heels and ducked beneath the doorway and disappeared beyond only to return barely a minute later with the requested woman gripped tightly in his hands. Letting her go as she stepped through the bridge doorway, Deanna gently massaged the now bruised area of upper arm that still stung from the harsh grip, but the pain was all but forgotten as her eyes soon fixed upon the same scene that the entire accompliment on the bridge watched.
Federation ships. A whole fleet of Federation ships, and Deanna felt her heart sink to her toes. God, how many were there? she asked herself, mentally beginning to count the silver shapes that sat suspended beyond the screen, waiting.
Thirty two. Deanna got to thirty two before Maror's bitter and twisted voice broke her concentration. "Hail the lead ship," he ordered her. "I want them to see you before I kill them all."
Deanna's shock left her mouth in a gurgled gasp as she recoiled against the anger and hatred that fuelled his promise. "I won't do it! I won't tell them anything you want me to repeat, damn you!" as she unwittingly came to stand barely two feet away from the only man that she would ever hate with every ounce of her heart, an emotion that as a Betazoid she so rarely felt. So rare that she physically felt the bile rise as she let the horror of his promise fill her being.
Maror spun on his heels so fast that Deanna stumbled back stepping straight up against the Sindareen that had brought her in and he instinctively held her upper arms in his tight grip to face whatever Maror figured to be her punishment for speaking to him in that manner.
But Deanna was beyond being frightened for herself. She cared about one thing and one thing only. Life. Not her life, but Will's, Jeb's, Betazed, her home, her family and strangely odd, she even cared about the Federation, realizing in that fraction of a moment then that was where her life lay, if she survived this.
She did not care about the scum that stood before her with possibly the nastiest, vilest smirk upon his face that she had ever seen.
"You will pay for that, Bitch!" he sneered, leaning so close to her that Deanna felt his stale breath upon her cheeks, his fist, clenched tight in anger raised high as though he was going to hit her, hard.
But Deanna refused to flinch, or cower beneath his evil stare-down as she waited for the inevitable. For a very long moment, everything was suspended. Everything stopped as they waited for his fist to make its mark.
But then a spark of something flared in his devilish eyes and without turning, he growled to his helmsman, "Hail the ship. I want them to see this."
Deanna's legs went weak when she realized his intention and she would have fallen but for the steely grip still upon her upper arms. Her eyes left Maror's face and looked over his shoulder to the screen. Barely a moment later, a face that she never thought she would see again filled the space, and Deanna released the choked sob that she didn't realize she had been holding. Oh, my God. Will! she silently cried, shaking her head as she tried to deny the vision she was seeing.
She watched as Will, shocked beyond belief at what he was witnessing, rose up from his seat. And she watched as silent angry, desperate, pleading words poured from his mouth, unheard because the comm system had been viciously turned off. And she watched as Maror slowly turned back to her, rose his fist and brought it down upon her upturned, petrified face.
Will's silent scream roared through her head as her face exploded with a million different splintering shards of pain with the force of his bare-knuckled punch and then a blackness stole over her mind. This time when her legs gave way, the man holding her let her go and Deanna slipped to the floor into a grateful unconsciousness.
Stunned, disbelieving silence saturated not only the Sindareen bridge, but every Federation ship that witnessed the barbaric act. Will was beside himself as he watched with tears streaming from his eyes as his beloved, his Imzadi slide to the floor under the force of his fist, unable to tear his eyes away from her pitiful, crumpled figure upon the steel floor of the the Sindareen ship.
Deanna. Oh, God, my poor Deanna! he silently cried.
After along moment, Maror's voice impinged on Will's brain and he tore his eyes away from Deanna and stared instead at the piece of scum that stood grinning at him. "You going to come and get your woman, Federation man? he sneered, "Or shall I keep her for myself? She's a feisty young thing, but I think I can handle her." He suddenly laughed as though he suddenly had an amusing thought., "I think she might even like it after a while."
Raucous laughter trickled throughout the Sindareen bridge crew, and even Will, his initial shock wearing off to deal with the matter at hand, suddenly realized that the ball game had changed.
They had come here with war in mind, but had hoped that with with a united show of Federation craft, that maybe, just maybe, the Sindareen would back down. But not now, not after seeing what the Sindareen raider had done to Deanna, Will had no intention of letting him live, and if that meant wiping out the entire Sindareen race just to get at him, then so be it.
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Will's face split into a grin laced with an equal amount of malice. His voice, now free of the choking tears that he had already spilt as he'd watched him beat Deanna, spat, "Over my dead body, you bastard."
Maror laughed, "That's the plan. You want her?" he asked maliciously, "Then come and get her." he dared.
But before Will could utter another word, Bobby Tiller suddenly said, with absolute terror in his voice, "Enemy force coming in, Sir. It's...it's the Klingon's."
Sucking in a shaky breath, Will's fingers gripped the back of Tiller's seat, his finger tips turning white with tension. "What the...? Where?" he barked.
The air in the ship disappeared with their breath as he answered, glancing up into Will's deathly pale face. "Behind the Sindareen force, Sir."
Will began to tremble. It was one thing to go into war with the Sindareen, but it was entirely a different matter to fight against the Sindareen AND possibly the nastiest, most vicious race known to the Federation, and the rest of the civilized worlds. He only had one choice.
"Prepare to retreat." he said, the fight quickly leaving him, his heart suddenly turning frozen at what he had to do.
Bobby Tiller's fingers stilled as his leader's words sunk in, and he turned his eyes to his his once more. "Sir?" he asked with surprise. "What about...?"
Will cut him off, unable to hear him utter Deanna's name as he prepared to let her go, and the others, this time for good. "They've won," he said sadly. "We can't fight them both." Slipping back into his seat he punched the control panel before him, ignoring the frantic buzz of activity upon the Sindareen ship. "Spread the word. We're returning to Betazed."
And with one last long sorrowful look at the woman he loved still lying unconscious on the cold metallic floor, Will silently whispered, his heart breaking with his decision, Goodbye, Imzadi
Chapter thirty seven
Don't go, Will, don't go! They're on our side. They're here to help us
As Will and Bobby Tiller prepared to turn the ship and the entire fleet about, a voice filtered through the fog of anguish that lashed at Will from all sides, his very soul torn in two at what he believed he had to do to save everything and everybody, except the one person who meant more than all of them put together. Deanna. His love. His Imzadi.
Don't go, please
There was no mistaking it this time. It was Deanna whispering through his senses like a tidal wave of welcoming water, leaving him trembling with relief at hearing her soft, melodic voice before making his heart soar for a moment, just to know that she was alive and lucid, and even though he had all but turned away to leave her to die, she hadn't blamed him, she hadn't spurned his torn heart.
But surely Will hadn't heard her right. He couldn't have. The Klingons, on their side? Never, not in a million years. The Federation had been locked in battle with the Klingon Empire ever since the very beginning. The Klingon's were the very reason that the Federation came to be.
And then another voice sifted through his befuddled mind. Believe her, Will. Do not turn back. Stand your ground. I haven't gone to all this trouble for nothing, so don't let me down, Lieutenant
Lwaxana Troi? How in hell's name did she manage to send him a message all the way from Betazed? he wondered with astonishment.
He swiftly got his answer. Silly man. Did you really think I would stay behind and miss all this fun? laughter alighting her tease at his confusion.
Slowly, very slowly, like the sun rising above the horizon, his surprise only managed to rise a touch before anger tinged his joy and Will felt the blood begin to boil within his body. So she thought this was a joke? The entire universe was about to go to war and she thought it was funny!
But even so, he found himself saying something he'd never thought he'd utter to the man beside him, who sat patiently, awaiting his order to move off, his voice tipped with a longing that he thought had died. He may not have been particularly enamoured towards Mrs. Troi, particularly when it concerned her daughter, but never-the-less, there were some things that she was good at and negotiating was one of them.
"Hold on, Bob, it seems like we've got God on our side today."
Bobby Tiller visibly balked. "What!?" he choked, his fingers pausing midway to the reverse button.
Will's eyes caught his, amusement brightening up the once troubled blue orbs into pools of mischief, "Sorry, I meant to say Lwaxana Troi, but sometimes I do wonder." he smirked.
I heard that, Mr. Riker
And then it all went wrong as shouts reverberated throughout the comm systems on board the Federation ships. Deanna's scream sent a shockwave of alarm through each and every one who heard her.
God, Will, he's going to kill you all! Don't let him do that to you just because of us, please!
But it was her mother that hushed her terrified daughter, her harsh words splashing on her fear , instantly defusing the terrors that ran amok in her heart. Oh, shush, Little one, you don't think I turned up with just my friend Martok, do you? How little you know me, daughter, dear. What do you think I do when I put my best ambassador hat on. Sit knitting booties for that grandchild that you will one day undoubtably give me between the two of you?
Her high pitched laughter rattled right through Will's head and he wondered in that brief instant if the woman had gone insane once the flare of longing of her vivid imagination zipped through him. Lwaxana Troi certainly had the knack of punching him just where she knew it would hurt him most, and just because her fantasy was one that was tucked away within his own private hopes and dreams, didn't make it any easier. The woman was a witch.
Too late, she'd caught him out again, but this time, instead of answering him silently, her voice came over the comm unit, loud and clear, creating a wave of stunned disbelief as hearing her speak. "I am NOT a witch, nor am I insane!" she said haughtily. "If you'd care to move your eyes to your long range scanners, Lieutenant, you'll find we're about to have a few more visitors."
Both Will and Bobby, and the rest of the waiting Federation ships pulled their eyes away from the growing carpet of ships ahead and automatically dropped their eyes to the instrument panels before them and watched in shocked awe as a flotilla of ships, still some way off, approached them from behind. Will heard Bobby swallow noisily, and when he recognized just what was heading their way, he could only do the same.
"Vulcans!" they chorused together.
Oh, yes Mrs Troi crowed, The Vulcans are very good friends of mine, and were more than happy to lend a helping hand." And then shed dropped the bombshell. Of course, I had to offer them an alliance with the Federation... She said, matter-of-factly, not even wincing at the somewhat expected outburst that almost shattered her eardrums.
"What!?" Bellowed Will. "You've done what!?"
Exhaling dramatically, she repeated her news. I promised them an alliance with the Federation. And the Klingons too. She added for good measure. They're really friendly when you get to know them, you know? I did toy briefly with asking the Cardassians, but I'm really not fond of them. To...Neanderthal and barbaric for my liking
One could imagine the grimace of distaste that etched her classical features with her enlightening insight into the Cardassian race. One also wondered why she didn't include the Klingons in the same vein, after all they practically were Neanderthal.
For a brief moment, Will thought that he was going to feint. God, what on earth was Starfleet going to say? The Cardassians!? The Vulcans!? The KLINGONS!? Will groaned, his eyes closing to try and shut out the scenario that was sure to come about when he got back home to face his superiors. He was destroyed, for good. His life as an aspiring Starfleet officer was over. Finished, annihilated by a meddling, mad woman. He'd never live it down. Never.
But even so, despite all her interfering, and once the momentary shock had subsided, Will was quick to realize that with the Vulcans, and the Klingons on their side, they at least now had a chance. They could show a united force and beat the Sindareen just by the show of numbers.
Squaring his shoulders, Will stared determinedly at the screen before him, took a deep breath and said to Bob, "Hail the Sindareen ship. The negotiations are over. It's time to get our people back."
Bobby grinned, his voice lifting with glee. "Aye aye, Sir."
Chapter thirty eight
It was over. It was done. The Sindareen, faced with three massive fleets against them, had had no option but to allow their hostages to be transported back to their own kind, and then have to face the indignity of being escorted out of Federation space, with their tails tucked firmly between their legs, lucky to have escaped with only a severe warning. This time.
Lieutenant William Riker and the rest of his command returned back to Betazed, coming to land with, it seemed, a welcome fit only for royalty. As soon as the ships touched down, a massive swarm of people descended on them as they stepped out of the hatches, each and everyone of the Betazed people either wanting to vigorously shake their hands with gratitude, their tearful words unable to convey their feelings, or kiss them, sweeping them into their embrace, silence saying much more than words ever could.
Taller than most, Will could only soak up their indebtedness, reddening right down to his toes for, what he considered, to be simply doing his job. As he began to search out with a mixture of fevered urgency and longing above the tops of the heads of the very people he had helped to save, to try and spot the only person that he wanted to see right then. It seemed to be an age of tortured waiting, of thumping heart, and dreaded fear if what the Sindareen had put her through, until finally, he saw her.
Will spotted the wild mane of ebony hair, and even before physically seeing her, he'd felt her presence, allowed it to quench his soul's thirst, and knew that she was almost within his field of vision. Almost there with him. Among the frenzied hustle and bustle of disembarkation, and the band of security people forcing themselves through the fray holding a makeshift stretcher, he reached out to her with an invisible touch of comfort, and without seeing her with his own eyes, Will captured her relief and worry as she clung to the hand of the stretcher's occupant as she walked along side it.
Will swallowed his disappointment along with the minuscule flare of mistrust that whoever she was escorting, clearly needed her more than he. He didn't care about that, having thrown his entire quota of trust at this one woman and he trusted her implicitly, so jealousy didn't even enter his mind other than that of his own selfishness to have her holding onto him. He needed her, just for a moment, just for a second, just to satisfy his heart, his soul, that she was back and she was safe.
Just one second.
Just one second. Look at me, Imzadi. See me, he pleaded silently.
As his eyes followed her his breath caught, the silent pleading for Deanna to stop finally filtered through the chaos that surrounded her and her feet slowly came to a halt. In slow motion, she turned and her eyes found his across the colourful forest of heads, unable to anything more than look, and feel. Deanna simply soaked up the very sight of him, felt the warmth of his love flow into her frozen, hurting body and replenish her heart. Her huge eyes swam with tears in her pale and dirty face as fatigue, sorrow and fear poured from her soul. Will felt each emotion batter her mind as she battled against falling apart before him.
And then she was gone, cocooned within a blanket that suddenly appeared upon her shoulders and then led away with the other rescued hostages, and Will's heart ached as he realized that he was going to have to wait a while before he could get to see Deanna again and wipe away the terrors that he knew from experience, would come and claim her later, and he hoped, above all else that he would be there to help her through.
Chapter thirty nine
Later, after giving his somewhat lengthy and totally bizarre report to his superiors, Will made his way back to his quarters, took a very long and theraputive shower, donned his favourite navy pants and a comfortable, soft sky-blue sweat-top, acutely aware that the colour matched his eyes, which were alive with excitement. He was going to see Deanna.
Winding his way to the Troi mansion with a noticeable bounce in his step, he arrived barely fifteen minutes later and hopped up onto the porch step with a lightness that came with the taste of freedom and, he realized, much more, but when he came to a stop before the massive door he found himself overcome with a sense of deja vu again and he felt the sunlight fade from his dreams.
How many more times was he going to find himself here - right here, feeling foolish, nervous and extremely wary? Feelings he'd experienced because of Deanna's mother. He couldn't even describe how he felt about seeing Deanna's face once more. The nearest he'd gotten to verbalising it with a word, was love. He loved her face. Her body. Her voice, and the weirdest of all was her mind.
How could he love a mind? he wondered, the amusing thought created a chuckle and catapulted him back up into the sunlight again, the goofy smile reappearing upon his face once more, the movement managing to chase away the doubts that clouded his mind. As he raised his knuckle and knocked he decided he didn't care anymore. He was past caring. He loved Deanna, and she loved him.
He stepped back and waited. Slipping his nervous hands behind his back, his fingers linking to hide the tremors, Will suddenly became overcome with something that he didn't want to feel. It hit him so quickly that he staggered backwards, the force moving his feet down onto a lower step. Negativity swamped his senses as an avalanche of fear swept through his befuddled mind and gasping for breath, Will struggled up through the invading darkness to keep himself focused. To keep Deanna with him.
He wasn't going to lose her, not now. Not after all that had happened. Not after his goofy moment of mushiness. He needed it back. He needed his soul in happy mode to get him through the coming hours, because he now had a hunch, a trickling down his spine that even though he wanted to howl from the rooftops with happiness, the woman the other side of the door was not going to be in the same frame of mind.
And as soon as the sour thought invaded his head, Will felt it again. Fear. Deep, mind-blowing fear and Will didn't know why the emotion saturated his entire being from head right through to his soul. At last he heard footsteps approaching on the other side of the solid door. A moment later, the handle turned and he found himself staring up into Lwaxana's face. He tried to gauge her mood, and failed. As much as she was a master of negotiating, she was also a dab hand at hiding her feelings from those she didn't wish to reveal them to, and Will knew, that he was one of them.
"Hello, William. Please, come in." she said, her voice level, without a hint of welcoming.
But Will stayed where he was, his feet refusing to take the step that would bring him closer to news that he didn't want to hear. He'd rather hear it there, on the doorstep, so that he could turn and walk away without too much fuss.
His heart began to pound in his chest and he felt himself begin to go cold with dread. But even so, he managed to keep his voice even as he spoke, his eyes holding hers as he reached out for truth. "Deanna doesn't want to see me, does she?"
It was then that Lwaxana sighed and let her true feelings show, just in the one tiny movement of her eyes, the even tinier shake of her head. "I'm sorry, she doesn't want to see anyone right now." she said quietly and apologetically.
But Will didn't buy it, not for a minute. "No, Mrs. Troi." he muttered with clenched teeth. "Deanna doesn't want to see me. and I'd like to know why, please." anxiety slipping into sizzling annoyance.
"I can't tell you that, William. Maybe it would be best if you left her alone, just for today. She has had a very traumatic time." The excuse sounded lame even to Lwaxana's ears, but to Will, it sounded pathetic, and he wasn't accepting it. He figured it was time to make a stand. He had reached the end of his very tight tether, and only one person could defuse the ticking time-bomb inside of him. Will desperately needed to be close to the one person that would make him feel human again. Whole. Wanted.
Before he'd even taken a step to enter the door, Lwaxana had second guessed his motive and moved to stand in his way, her dainty palm raising to stop his entrance. "Now, William, you cannot come in here and upset my daughter further. I know you, and I know what you are capable of." But even as she said it with as much bravado that she could muster, she realized that the man before her was coming in, one way or the other.
And he did. His eyes turned glassy blue as he boldly stepped up to the hand that still sat suspended in mid air in a futile attempt to halt the giant man's approach, Will moved close enough to allow it to rest lightly upon his massive chest, and then, with a determined grin inching across his face he simply raised his hands to her arms, plunked one very sound kiss upon her startled lips and gently moved her aside, and there wasn't an ounce of resistance from the stunned woman.
Stepping around her and releasing her arms, he said with artificial amusement, "Excuse me, Mrs. Troi. Today I went into space more than ready to give my life to save your your daughter. Now, I'm going upstairs to see Deanna, whether she likes it or not, and whether you like it or not." He hesitated, turning his head back towards her, a wicked grin erupting upon his handsome face. "I may be some time." he added, daring her to deny him.
A spark of pride lit up her eyes as she watched him continue up the stairs. Now that's a man she mused to herself, and then sighed, amusement replacing the longing. Sheesh, how can I be so jealous of my own daughter! It's definitely time I got myself married again!
Chapter forty
Firmly, without ceremony, and without knocking, Will turned the handle of Deanna's bedroom door and opened it. He didn't see the point of being polite; She knew he was coming, he was sure of that, and empathy had nothing to do with it. Pure common sense would have told her that he would come to her. Need would have told her that he would come to her, tonight. Destiny foretold that he would come to her. He had to. He couldn't not.
As quietly as he entered, Will closed the door behind him, his eyes taking in every detail of the room, including the fact that she didn't appear to be in it. Even though he couldn't physically see her, Will sensed her presence, felt her presence, and smelt it in the faint flowery scent that lingered around him, along with the haphazard array of clothing strewn upon her bed.
Will slowly stepped towards her bathroom, drawn by the heat from her recent shower as it permeated through the slightly open door, and he didn't even hesitate as he took in a deep breath and drank in the clean erotic aroma. His eyes drifted shut as the image of the woman he longed to see swam before him. Deanna slowly came towards him with a large fluffy towel draped demurely around her slender body. He lost himself in the welcoming smile upon her face, and then melted as he watched the smile turn wanton as her hands drifted up to the tight knot...
But it all vanished as quickly as it came like a bubble bursting as the breeze from the window whipped in and broke his dreaming, stopping the wayward thoughts in their tracks as he felt the cool touch of the evening's chill brush his skin. Will very quickly realised that Deanna's shower was even more recent than his original assumption, the draft from the window not yet reaching the bathroom's steamy interior sufficiently enough to cool it down.
So where the hell are you, you crazy female? he mused, perplexed, the whoosh of air leaving his lungs as disappointment set in that the urge to see him wasn't as strong as his urge to see Deanna. And he wanted to. Oh, God, he wanted to, so much. So much so that his heart ached as he stood in the middle of her dainty, feminine bedroom, suddenly and completely alone, confused and hurt.
And then he heard it. He heard her. Well, not exactly her, but as soon as it he heard it, he realised that he'd found what he was looking for. It wasn't much, but as soon as he heard it, the penny dropped and he couldn't stop the knowing grin from erupting upon his face, and with four silent steps, he moved furtively towards the window.
Looking down, his breath caught in his throat as he watched the top of Deanna's head as she attempted to find her footing upon the lattice work that sporadically encased the outer walls. The same lattice that he had scaled himself not so long ago to get to her. The only difference was that he was a whole one foot taller than the petite woman that was struggling to place her foot somewhere safe, and she was failing, making Will's heart stop with alarm.
Leaning through the window, Will stooped low and held out his hand, dangling it just in front of her face. At first, so intent with keeping herself from falling, Deanna didn't notice the proffered hand, but when she did, she didn't have to look up to know who it belonged to. Will Riker had distinctive hands. Huge hands. Hands that she had watched take her to heaven. Hands that were as familiar to her body as well as her own now. Hands that were offering her a life-line. Hands that would inevitably put her right back where she'd started; Back within the cradle of his arms.
The breath that Deanna had been holding in fear now left her lungs in defeat, and rising wary eyes, Deanna met his. She was convinced that she would see anger, or contempt. But all she saw was a compassion that she felt she didn't deserve. Shame slipped into her conscience briefly too when it dawned on her that what she was doing to him was nothing short of torture, and he Will did not deserve that.
But she couldn't seem to help it. The man frightened her to death. The one man that she should have been feeling totally at home with, comfortable enough to spend the rest of her life with, love, bombarded her very soul with terror, and every time that she knew she was going to come face to face with Will, she found herself frantic with the need to get away from him.
And she was more than aware that he recognized that, and that hurt her even more.
Time ticked by second by painful second, and for a long moment, Will didn't think Deanna was going to take his hand so that he could haul her back into the bedroom, and more importantly, back to safety. And for an even longer moment they simply looked at each other. Will could only watch as the demons within her battled against her, and with what he was sure he was trying to silently tell her; that he cared. That he wasn't going to go away, and that above all else, he loved her.
And then the world started revolving again as finally, Deanna's hand reached out to his and he firmly folded his long fingers around her shorter ones. Will gently pulled her up towards him and when he was sure that her feet were firmly planted back upon the concrete ledge that surrounded the entire house, putting her head just about within reaching distance of his, Will halted his rescue, holding her close to the wall so that she didn't fall back.
Startled when Will stopped, Deanna clung onto the window's edge for dear life, even though the man that held on to her showed no sign of letting her go. Puzzled, she turned her face to his and met his eyes square on. Barely a heartbeat stood between them; so close, so, so close, and yet an abyss sat between them, for her part. For his it was merely a puddle, a puddle that was easily breached.
Mesmerized, Deanna could only watch as Will slowly moved his face closer to hers. He was going to kiss her, she was sure of that, and she felt her body, her mind and her will surrender to the inevitable, suddenly aching for the contact, desperate to rejoin their souls, even if it was only for a moment.
She felt his breath caress her skin, and memories whispered through her senses of another time, another moment when Will had come close to her, close enough to illicit the same feelings that she was feeling now, and her heart cried out for him to kiss her. Her eyes fluttered shut as she breathlessly waited, but as the seconds passed by, Deanna's eyes slowly drifted open, puzzlement pouring from their inky depths as she once more met his.
Hunger rode through his senses and Will wanted nothing more than to give into what he wanted, as well as the woman before him. But he couldn't, not yet. Not until he'd tried, yet again to settle Deanna's very unsettled feelings. He knew he could wash each and every one of them away simply by sweeping her into his arms and making love to her. If it had been any other woman, that would have been how he would have dealt with the situation.
But this wasn't just any other woman. This was Deanna. This was a his future and he wasn't going to blow it, not again. Raising his palm, Will gently settled it against her jaw, looked deep into her eyes and whispered huskily, "Please stop running away from me, Deanna. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."
Unable any longer to resist the pull of his lips, Deanna closed her eyes and slowly lay her mouth against his, feeling her entire being melt with the rightness of the motion, but barely a second later, Will pulled his mouth away, back to its original, and tormenting position, and Deanna felt the loss right down to the pit of her stomach.
Lifting her heavy eyes to meet his, Deanna drowned in what she saw. Raw need, but not an amorous need, although it was there, deep within his body. The need she saw went much further and deeper than that. It was their Imzadi bond, she was more than aware that, the one thing that she found herself constantly fighting against, even though it had been the most beautiful thing she had ever experienced in her entire life.
Even though the man before her was her destiny, in every sense of the word, but it was a destiny destined to encase the rest of her life with pain, and Deanna didn't she could take that amount of agony. She'd witnessed enough of it with her parents. Her father had undoubtably promised the same things to her mother, but it hadn't made the slightest bit of difference to their lives. He had still died, and she still nursed a broken heart - not so anyone would notice.
But Deanna knew. Time and time again, she'd heard her mother in the dead of night, crying as though her heart was breaking all over again. She'd heard her talking to him in her sleep. She'd heard her moans as she'd called upon precious Imzadi moments that allowed a man and woman to relive intimate unions, just as she had shown Will in the Arboretum. And each and every time, it had torn Deanna's heart apart, reinforcing her decision to never put herself in the same position.
But she had. She'd already done it, with the man that watched her intently for her decision. A decision that destiny had already taken away from her, and she was still pissed off about it. Big time. She'd felt that her life had been snatched away from her.
But she was going to have one last go at getting it back. Decision made.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Will." She muttered as she began to clamour through the window, with or without his help.
After the initial thoughts of strangling her evaporated, Will helped Deanna climb back in through the window, but as soon as she hit solid ground again, she wrenched herself out of his arms, bitterness raging through her at a hundred miles an hour.
Will went to reach for her again, but she evaded his hands. "Don't, Will," she spat, anguish and tears filling her words. "Don't touch me. I couldn't stand it right now."
But she hadn't figured on the tenacity of William Riker when he'd set his mind, and his heart on something, and before she realised his intent, Will had reached out for her arms and held her within a steely grip that dared her to turn and run.
He was angry now, angrier than he'd been for a long time. "Oh, no, you don't, Princess, you're not going to do this to me again, not after everything I've gone through because of you. Don't you think you owe me something, Deanna?" he cried. "I almost died out there for you. Doesn't that say enough for you? Isn't that enough for you, Deanna!?"
The tears rose from where they were waiting and pooled in her eyes, her anger dissipating in a shower of self-loathing and fear, fear of losing the man before her forever because of her inability to hold back her soul. She'd tried, so hard to not become Imzadi, because of feeling the way she felt right then, and for instances like what had happened out in space earlier when she had almost lost him.
The ache of losing him almost killed her, and just didn't think she was ready to take on that kind of responsible, that amount of loss because she knew that becoming Imzadi, becoming one meant that the pain of losing him became ten-fold. Unbearable. Undescribable.
Choking back on a sob, Deanna looked up into the face of the only man she knew she would ever love, and cried, "Yes! yes! But don't you understand, Will? I don't want you to die for me! I don't want to have to sit here and wait for you, wondering if you're all right. I don't want to hurt like I hurt right now. Can't you understand that!?"
Dropping his hands to his sides, failure surged through Will's body like a draining plug-hole. As he stood staring at the woman who he, up to now had been sure he'd be spending the rest of his life with, pain ripping through his soul as he sadly looked down at her. He was hardly audible when he spoke, his eyes glistening with the force of his words. "But I didn't die, Deanna. I didn't die. I'm right here."
Torn from her soul, the tears that Deanna battled to hold back, sprang free as the truth of his heart-felt declaration fell from his mouth. Unable to hold herself away from him any longer, Deanna drifted into Will's arms and snaked her own around his waist. The anguish that racked her body echoed in her thoughts that were now clearly defined upon her tear stained face as she rose it to his.
"This time, Will," she said brokenly. "How many times will you put me through this torture just so that we can stay together?" she asked.
Will couldn't hold her gaze as the truth in her words penetrated the misery that cascaded through him. She was right, he knew. She was so very right. But this was life; the biggest gamble in the whole universe, and if he'd learned anything in his short life, it was that he was a pretty good game player, and he wasn't throwing his hand in just yet. But that wasn't what Deanna wanted to hear.
So he lowered his mouth to hers instead, pulling her tight against his body so that he could soak up her heat; feel that she was real, and alive, and that what he was holding in his arms was not the dream that had consumed him for the past two days.
What in God's name would he do without her if he walked away from her now? He couldn't do it. He simply could not do it.
But he was going to have to.
But not now. Not tonight