The Cost of Destiny
by Carol Sandford
Chapters 6 to 10
Chapter six
Will felt the slight resistance on his fingers as they walked along. The only sound that could be heard was their feint footsteps on the path and the night's creatures. They said nothing. Nothing needed to be said. Something was about to happen between them. They both knew it. They both accepted it, until Will felt the gentle tug on his fingers as Deanna tried to stop him from walking on.
He slowed his pace, realizing that his long strides were probably too much for her much shorter legs, until he finally took a glance at her and saw the look of fear upon her moonlit face. She was beautiful, he thought. He'd always been aware of her beauty, but now, in the moonlight, with her hair pulled away from her face, her make-up, and that dress, she was exquisite. Slowing to a reluctant stop, he turned towards her and drank in her features as she looked up at him with huge eyes.
"What's wrong?" he murmured, seriously.
Deanna melted with the low, husky, almost drugged tone as he searched her face for a reason for her fear. And she was afraid she realized. Not of him, or of what they were probably about to do. But of what her mother had told her the previous night. It still over-shadowed her thoughts. Still thrummed through her senses. Still scared her.
She didn't feel ready to share her soul with a man that she had only kissed, even if her mothers prophecy was right, and he was her intended Imzadi. It wasn't just about becoming Imzadi, it was about after. It was about how their lives were going to change afterwards. She was certain that Will was not going to remain on Betazed and become her life partner, in any sense of the word. He was a Starfleet officer. He wanted to travel. He wanted freedom. He wanted more than her.
The Imzadi bond was going to mean nothing to him. It couldn't. Will would never understand or comprehend what it would mean to both of them. Or cost.
Deanna looked up into her future lover's blue intense gaze, her eyes unable to hide her feelings, her passion, or the fear that now sparkled within her own dark orbs, "I...I mustn't do this, Will. If you have any feelings for me at all, you won't do anything more than kiss me tonight."
Will's eyes creased in concerned puzzlement, and Deanna felt his disappointment rush through her, quickly meshing with her own disappointment at never knowing what it would be like, or feel like, making love to the one person that destiny had promised to you.
For a long moment, Deanna thought Will was going to agree to her terms. And for an even longer moment. Will silently promised her that he could just give her a kiss, or two. Slowly, delicately, he lowered his mouth to hers. Lips that matched one anothers fitted perfectly, and they both drank the bliss that poured from deep within.
But as slowly and delicately that they had meshed, they broke apart. Will raised his palm to her chest and settled it gently against her pounding heart, his breath, laboured, much like her own. He whispered hoarsely, "Do you feel it, Deanna?" he questioned, "What's happening here will not settle with a kiss. We are going to make love tonight, and I don't think either one of us can stop it." Will watched as her eyes, and her heart, finally accepted that he was right.
Deanna studied Will's face in the muted moonlight, taking in each feature and imprinting in upon her heart, helping her come to the only conclusion available. Her one simple word set the last shred of fear tumbling down. "Where?"
As they both stood on the sidewalk with their hands laced and their hearts beating with anticipation, Will looked around at the surrounding area, searching for somewhere that they could call their own for a little while. They didn't see the magnificent houses standing tall and regal. Nor did they see the moonlight's rays, shining down on them; two solitary people. Two lovers to be.
Will spied the huge glass dome that was the town centre's pride and joy; the arboretum. It was warm, and it was mutely lit with tiny colourful lanterns amongst the flower beds, casting its rainbow coloured beams across the blossoming array of exotic blooms. The air was heady with every essence of flora imaginable. It was romantic and deliciously quiet. It was also open. And it was perfect.
To the eyes that watched the couple enter the glass doors, they looked like any other visitors. The only thing that gave them away as lovers was the linked hands and the speed that their feet were moving.
The oppressive heat and aromatic aroma of moistened earth, along with the floral scents hit their noses as soon as they entered. Will slid to a halt, pushing the door closed behind him. He released Deanna's hand and began searching the immediate area.
Bemused, Deanna asked, "What are you looking for, Will?"
Reaching down, he picked up a length of watering hose, testing its flexibility, his forehead wreathed in a vexed frown, "Something to secure the door with, Sweetheart," He deftly wrapped the hose through the handles. "I don't want any, 'surprise' visitors creeping up on us."
Deanna blushed with just the mere image, but her chuckle still left her mouth anyhow as he continued securely knotting the door shut. "Will, we are surrounded by telepaths," she said, "they'll know that someone is in here making out."
"Hell, I know that, Deanna!" he said, exasperated, "I also know that there are a few nosy, and very un-empathic Terran's around too. Better to be safe than sorry." he reasoned.
Satisfied that he'd tied the knot so that not even the devil himself could squeeze through, he took a deep shuddering breath and turned himself back to the woman who was waiting. The joviality of the moment vanished, along with the last chance to go back, and somehow, it made all the difference.
Capturing her eyes, Will reached for her hand once more, and she slipped hers into his and they both walked into the shrouded canopy of the thick, overhanging vines and small trees. They both seemed to know where they were going, even though Will had never entered the glass dome before. For a moment, Will wondered if Deanna had been here previously, with someone else. It briefly made him falter, uncomfortable with the thought, until he threw her a quick glance and found the answer he was looking for in her eyes. She hadn't.
Somewhere in the centre of the complex, the thick density of foliage opened out into an area that took Will's breath away. A pool shimmered in the moonlight that spilled through the overhead glass, the accelerated sound of tumbling water, louder because of the quiet, cascaded from a figurine placed strategically in its centre.
Deanna kept on walking past the alluring feature, the gentle tug on Will's hand leading him back into the what seemed to be the depths of foliage again. But after only a momentary blackness, they came across another feature, and Deanna pulled Will straight into its heart.
It was a gazebo. A beautiful gazebo. But it was no ordinary gazebo. It was almost overrun with trailing, heavily scented flowers. Will thought it was Jasmine, but he wasn't sure, only that its scent was intoxicating, heightening his already heightened body. And better still, it had a never ending bench running around the inside, and Will imagined that on a glorious day, like so many were on Betazed, that this was a magical place to be. It even had a small drinking fountain, its trickle echoing once more in the stillness of the night.
But it was the object in its centre that had captured his attention; it was a chaise longue. A very largish chaise longue. Its presence painfully clear, leaving only images to ponder on. He turned questioning eyes towards Deanna. "Is that what I think it's for?" he asked, his voice raising with humorous surprise.
Deanna swallowed as she too, stared fascinated at the thickly cushioned seating area. "I...I guess," she said. "I've heard people say they come here for...for..." She couldn't finish the sentence, searching his eyes in the moonlight, "It...it comes highly recommended." she finished bravely.
Will laughed out aloud at her incredulous announcement, the hearty, rich sound resounding in the vast silence, "Highly recommended!? Miss Troi, have you been eavesdropping on your friends romantic discussions?"
She sniffed derisively, "I go to college. I hear...things." She trailed off lamely, ashamed at revealing a little more of her natural curiosity, and her innocence.
Will reached for her hands again and tugged her towards him, pulling her closer than before. Close enough to kiss her, if he wanted. His voice held a hint of pride. A hint of challenge. A hint of hope, "And you wanted to see if the rumours were true, eh?" he grinned at her upturned, smiling face.
Deanna didn't answer him. She couldn't. But she didn't need to, her silence said enough, and at last - at long last, Will finally settled his lips against hers, and let the night begin.
Chapter seven
Will kissed her so thoroughly, so deeply, so...erotically, that Deanna's head began to swim with desire, making her feel drunk, and very, very wanted. Will's hands reverently ran up and down her body, his need to touch and explore as fevered as the tongue that swept in and and out of her mouth. Each time Will plunged in his moist tongue to dance with hers, she felt the tug deep within her, giving her a taste of what intimacy was going to feel like when his body finally joined with hers.
Will felt Deanna shudder and gently pulled away from her lips, their heaving breaths mingling as they slowly opened their drugged, heavy eyes. Will licked his tender lips, relishing the sweet moisture that lingered there, the taste sparking his already swollen loins into readiness again. His eyes dropped to Deanna's mouth and noticed the feint tremble. He lifted one arm and tenderly stroked the soft pad of his thumb across her lower lip. "Are you afraid of me, Deanna?"
He saw the flare of sureness in not only her eyes, but her entire body, it came alive along with her need to tell him that she wasn't, "No...no, I'm not afraid of you, Will. I..." She confessed, "I'm afraid of...other things, but not of you."
He understood. Lightly pecking her lips with his, Will tightened his hold on her body. The arms that held her loosely before, now tightened as he spoke, his voice louder, urgent even, as his eyes bored into hers, asking her very soul, "Do - you - trust - me, Deanna?"
Deanna didn't quite know where the long silent moment came from, or why, but it did, even though she knew deep in her melting heart why. She slid her hands up higher, fastening them behind his neck, pulling him back towards her waiting mouth. Her whispered, confident, "Always." got lost in the drugging kiss she bestowed upon him.
Deanna felt herself being lowered; the back of her knees touching the cushioned seating. She allowed herself to be seated, half expecting Will to follow. But instead, he slowly dropped to his knees on the floor before her. She didn't realise how tightly her knees were closed until she felt him softly kneading her outer thighs, his eyes never leaving her face.
Forcing herself to relax, she released the stiffness in her muscles and let Will create his magic on her. Now at a vantage point, Deanna took delight in controlling what was happening between them. She began to trace her fingertips along his masculine contours; his strong, hard jawline, his ears - far too small for his overall size but beautiful, non-the-less. Her own thumb ran along his full bottom lip, her eyes, heavy with desire, watching the motion, until she could stand the separation no more. Slipping her long fingernail between his lips, opening them wider, she moaned before settling her own mouth against his again, and as she did that, the legs that Will had been working on, and the dress that he had ridden up inch by inch, finally gave way and he moved his body between her thighs.
Unable to, and not even wanting to pretend that what was happening between them was chaste, Will roughly dragged her own heated body against his. He could feel her warmth against his stomach and growled when it dawned on him that all that was separating him from her was a tiny scrap of lace. This time when Will ripped his mouth away from hers and held her face within his massive hands, gasping with unleashed agony, again he asked her, "Do you trust me, Deanna?"
As Deanna's dreamy eyes stared deeply into his, she gently chewed on her already swollen bottom lip, until Will moved his hands away from her face and down to her bare thighs. Her gaze followed their descent and she then understood what he was asking of her; Will was giving her one, last final chance to stop what was about to happen.
She sucked in a shaky breath and released it along with one, solitary word, "Yes." Her body throbbed with need and expectancy. She was prepared to accept whatever was about to happen, but Deanna was determined to fight against Will becoming her Imzadi. But she could no longer fight her bodily craving. It was time, and if it meant giving away her soul to feel what she was about to feel, then so be it. But she was going to fight it, all the way.
Once more Will surprised her when he dropped his head to her knees and kissed the tender spot on its inside, and then duplicated the movement on the other side. Her heart fluttered with unease at the intimate motion. It wasn't what she was expecting. But then she really didn't know what to expect. Was this the normal course of love-making, or was it something that Terran's did? She just didn't know, and that scared her a little.
Nervously, Deanna watched his head as he systematically worked his way along her inner thighs, but by the time he'd reached barely a few inches from his ultimate goal, her breathing was laboured and she was clinging on to the seat's edge, her head was thrown back as she waited for... something!
Deanna felt Will gently stroke his finger across her lace panties, aware that he was pleased to find that they were already saturated with need. She couldn't stop the tiny pants from leaving her lungs as she waited for whatever was to happen next. And she waited. He was killing her with his slowness, until she dimly realised that he was still giving her a chance to halt the inevitable.
When he slowly moved his hand away from her, bringing them to rest on the outside of her knees once more, she dragged her heavy head back to face his to find that Will was watching her intently. Gently, he moved back, pushing her knees together, and Deanna thought he'd had a change of heart; that he was the one who was going to stop. But when he slid his hands up the outside of her thighs and found the thin elastic strip of her panties, she realized that he was asking her consent to remove them, along with yet another chance for him to stop.
She answered him by lifting her bottom just high enough for Will to slip his fingers beneath the band and tug them towards him, slipping them the entire length of her slim legs. He lifted her feet, marvelling at how sexy she looked in the high heels and very little else, making a mental note that if in the future they ever got together, he would have her parading around their bedroom in nothing else but those high heels. And maybe a sexy smile. And just a touch of make-up.
But that would be all.
Will watched the woman before him with shadowed eyes. He'd never done anything like this on a first date before. With other women, it had been about getting the act done, for both of them. But with Deanna, it was different. It felt different. Something special was about to happen. He didn't know what, but his gut, his heart, told him that Deanna Troi was going to need everything he'd got, and he was happy, and proud, to give it. Deliriously happy.
Deanna looked down and studied the man between her knees and audibly gasped when he moved her knees back apart - even further this time, the rush of cool air tickling her sex. Will was going to give her the most intimate kiss of all and Deanna wasn't quite sure what to do about it. Her whole body began to tremble with fear, excitement, and, anticipation. Unable to look at him any longer, she frantically looked around the gazebo at anything, and everything until she felt Will's hot breath reheat her exposed genitalia, and his searing, wet tongue touch her.
The unexpected, sudden, wondrous, gasped, "Oh!" left her mouth as she felt him flick against the sensitive bud, sending a kick to her womb that only cried out for more, and it was then she let her head fall back again, and she allowed herself to be carried away on the tidal wave of wonder and ecstasy that engulfed her.
She tasted of paradise, Will surmised, as he gently shifted his own now very uncomfortable lap to accommodate the bulging, welcome heat in his pants. What he would have done at that moment to have been able to shuck his clothes and bury himself in paradise. But he couldn't, not yet. Will was about to make history with this woman. He didn't know why, or how, only that he was certain that he was about to go on the most exquisite ride of his life.
Deanna struggled against what was happening to her body. The insistent lapping of Will's tongue against her felt strange. Delicious. An inner heat began to boil deep inside of her and she felt herself begin to panic, the sensation unlike anything she had ever felt or imagined before, and she was terrified. Deanna had to stop it from happening, she just had to. Freedom was imminent, but she was terrified of the escape.
She heard her own desperate soft moans of, No, no, no! tickle her mind, unaware that the words were slipping from between her lips too. But with her last heartfelt 'no!', she felt her legs shift higher and Will's tongue deepen the contact, deepen the ache, releasing a strangled gasped, 'Oh!' from her. Deanna felt Will's triumphant thought rush over her, as she struggled to keep herself upright, her position more precarious than ever - in more ways than one.
Will was winning against her, she could feel it. As her body began to rock against him, the movement unfamiliar to her innocent loins, Deanna felt herself begin to fly. Over and over, her heart, and her mind groaned, 'no' but her body cried,'Yes!' The battle was relentless. Futile even, but she struggled on.
The war raged on, but the man between her knees was oblivious, only intent on winning his own war. He could sense her fighting him; her fear drenched him from head to toe. But she was so near, so close, she just needed one minuscule moment of acceptance, and he'd send her off like an exploding rocket. He had to change tactics.
So Will touched her.
He didn't know who was surprised more when Deanna shot back, away from his probing fingers, her eyes ablaze with shock, and embarrassment, her legs instantly squeezing closed, shutting him out. But it didn't stop the throbbing from coursing through her body, in tune with her pounding heartbeat. It matched his.
For a long moment, they simple stared at each other; his eyes, glistening like sapphires, hers, like glorious, luminous orbs of jet, wide and wild, like the breath that left her mouth. The silence hung between them, waiting. Will dropped his eyes to her lips, and then licked his own, the simple movement sent a flare of remembrance to her womb, and her head filled with regret, and longing.
Somehow, Will sensed the loss, the need, and when he gently tugged her back towards him and pulled her knees apart, moving in between them again, there was no resistance. But this time, when his tongue touched her, it was against her own as he began a relentless assault on her mouth.
Deanna inched nearer to him, her body unable to sustain the loss of having him so far away. Locked. That was how she felt; locked, and Will held the key, and as he continued to batter her defences down, she felt her entire being begin to open.
And Will felt it too. When he reached down between their bodies and gently touched her again, she was ready for it. A long finger began to mimic his tongue and he felt her begin a mimic of her own. He pushed, and she pushed back, harder, wanting - begging for more. Gone was the struggle deep within her, holding her back. The woman was emerging, the one that wanted to feel. To learn. To love. The fire began to build inside her again. Her entire insides; her womb, her belly, her mind, and her heart, filled with an overwhelming desire to be set free.
Will threaded his fingers into her hair, gripping the back of her neck, turning her head so that he could plunder her mouth even deeper still. She was close, so close. He felt her hands caress the vast expanse of his chest, her nails digging into the taut muscles that he knew rippled with his own tension. He wanted her. Will ached to get so deep inside her, that he let himself drift off into a dream, a dream that he hoped the night would let come alive.
He felt rather than heard her explosion, in the way her body went taut, gripping his hand between her now firmly clamped thighs, and the sudden release of hot liquid that poured into his palm, along with the intimate throbbing. And by the way her fingers left his chest and rose to his neck, ripping their mouths apart as she stared, open-mouthed and stunned at his overjoyed, and revered face.
And then he found himself flat on his ass, watching her fleeing form scuttling away from him as though the devil himself was hard on her heels, her billowing skirts rippled in a multitude of glorious reds as it danced with the moonlight that poured in through the glass overhead.
It took him a full ten seconds for the shock to pass and sanity prevail as he jumped to his feet and set off after her. "Deanna!" he called, his voice echoing though the quiet darkness as he followed her retreating path. He couldn't see her, but he could hear the light tapping of her shoes, and she was still running - away from him. As he chased after her, his way only lit by the small colourful lights that lit up the flower beds, Will frantically wondered what had gone wrong. He was so sure she was enjoying herself, and so sure that it was what she had wanted, that he was quite frankly, totally mystified. And scared.
"Deanna! please stop! Let's talk about this." Even he heard the fear in his voice as it bounced around the huge structure. His only answer was silence. Total, eerie silence, which instantly told him she'd stopped running.
But where was she? Will was pretty certain that she hadn't left the building because she had been running in the wrong direction, towards the back. Will groaned. Maybe there was another way out - an emergency exit. There had to be one.
He stopped running, dragging his feet to an unwelcome halt and let his laboured and fear-ridden breath ease a little. He stared deep into the surrounding flora trying to hopefully catch a glimpse of his quarry, but she had disappeared - merging herself into the dark shadows.
"Damn!" he angrily muttered, his heartbeat still pounding in his chest - not just from the exertion, but from the loss of her. Deanna. Will began to miss her in the worst possible way, and it shocked him. How could that be? He hardly knew her. But then, he thought, he'd gotten closer to her than any other woman he'd been with. He had to find her.
But then a tidal wave of common sense drenched him from head to toe. He felt it start in his dense head, squeeze his loins and then dribble on down to his feet. He could find her, he had the ability. He didn't know how, or why, only that if he put a mind to it, he could find her. Sense her.
He figured it was his years of training with Starfleet that had honed in his senses. Learning to seek out silent, hidden enemies had been par for the course. He also figured that if you wanted something - or someone bad enough, you could draw on your gut feelings. And so that's what he did.
He stood ramrod still, illuminated only by the moonlight, and forced his mind to empty; calm itself. Once more his eyes surveyed the dense area letting his experience, and his heart do the job at hand, taking in the various structures - seeing which one would hide a terrified woman.
It took a few moments until his head and eyes were drawn to an archway of sorts. The flowers that created the structure were stunning. Rich, purple blossoms hung like bunches of grapes from its branches, but beyond the arch lay a black area of some kind. His eyes travelled above the structure gauging the depth. It was enough to hide in.
Sure, slow footsteps took him nearer and he felt his heartbeat begin to hammer in his chest. She was here, he could feel it. He put one tentative foot between the arch, and then another, lowering his tall frame beneath the dangling flowers. His eyes adjusted automatically to the somewhat dimmer surrounding as he swung them furtively around, and even though he knew he'd find her there, he was still mildly surprised when he found himself staring into a pair of wide, cautious, ebony eyes.
Chapter eight
But even as Will slowly approached her, Deanna was backing away and he realized that she was going to run again. Quicker than a bullet from a gun, his hand shot out, and caught the soft flesh of her arm just as she spun to run. "Deanna!" he quietly pleaded.
"Let me go!" she cried, her voice dripping with dread. "Please!"
But he didn't, he couldn't, and he pulled her around, clasping her other arm as she fought like a demon against him. He had to pull her closer to him, mostly to stop her flailing hands from doing any damage to him, but also because he needed to comfort her; stop her from being so afraid of him. "Hush," he crooned.
Looking up into his face, her eyes and cheeks now awash with tears, she sobbed, "Let me go. Just let me go."
Will dragged her trembling body up hard against his and released her arms, letting his hand rest on the back of her head as he settled his chin on her shoulder. His mouth was right against her ear and she heard his tortured, "I can't, baby. I'm sorry, I just can't. We both know that I can't let you go. Not now."
He didn't have to speak the rest of his declaration, Not ever, it scorched her soul as the silent words reached out to her, and with them came release. Deanna felt the dam burst inside her and she began to cry in earnest. Will held her tightly in his unwavering arms. She was wrapped in sheer misery and Will had absolutely no idea of the reason why. She'd wanted him, he knew that. She even seemed to be willing, that, he also knew. Okay, it had to be her first time, so maybe that was it. But he was also conscious that he was the one she'd chosen to be her first, so just what was the problem? He was totally and utterly baffled.
He was also totally and utterly determined. This night was meant to be, of that he had no doubt. He was just going to have to work a little harder at seducing the lady currently bawling like a baby in his arms.
His kiss, when it came, simply wiped away everything; the tears, the pain, and the doubt. It was as devastating as any storm she had ever been in. He had captured her, and enslaved her, with nothing more than the heat of his mouth on hers, his tongue sweeping through her mouth, taking possession like a warrior; a conquering hero.
But what then? A hero couldn't save her from herself, or from the secret she fought so valiantly to keep hidden. But for the moment, she'd let him kiss away the tremors and fears that consumed her soul until she was strong enough to fight him off.
But Will had other ideas and he was pitiless. Wherever his giant hands touched, they burned, scorching a path between her buttocks and her head. He either didn't seem to know where to touch next - or he wanted to touch everything, everywhere. Her body was crushed against his entire, rock hard body and she could feel the hardest part pushing against her stomach.
In the end, his hands finally found a home; One nestled in her hair so that he could manoeuvre her head to accommodate his almost desperate mouth. The other settled in the small of her back, pushing her tight against him, letting his need get as close to heaven as it was going to get at that time.
Deanna arched against him of her own free will, her own hungers saturating her body. He could have me, she dimly thought, right here and now, and I wouldn't stop him. All it would have taken was a movement from her; a sign. She'd never felt so alive, so...absorbed before and it was all down to the man that was in her arms, and now in her heart.
She was still in a daze when he finally lifted his head, struggling for breath, and sanity, as he fought to stop the primal urge to hoist her to his waist and take her hard and fast, right there and then, and know that it would be like nothing they'd experienced before.
Reluctantly, Will swung his eyes away from her flushed, beautiful face, looking at anything but her. He was trembling. Deanna loved the fact that she could make him tremble with need, as he'd made her. She was also aware that she didn't want to let go of the feeling, or go back to the life she led before he'd come along. Deanna needed completion, but when Will disentangled his body from hers and stepped back, she knew she'd blown her chances with her silly, immature behaviour.
Will studied her, more unsure than he'd even been in his life. He should walk away from her. He should leave her be. She wasn't ready for a sexual relationship. She didn't seem ready for any kind of relationship, and he couldn't believe how wrong he'd gotten it. He made one, very unwanted step backwards, but stopped when he heard a, No! don't go, ripple through his mind. Shock alone stopped his feet from moving any further.
When she'd sensed his withdrawal, Deanna desperately tried to switch off the negative emotions that surged from the depths of her heart. She was torn in so many different ways; Did she, didn't she? Could she, would she? and pushing up in between them all, like a volcano seeking release from the very base of her soul was only one answer.
Deanna had only one way of making Will stay now, and so staring up into his face, losing herself in blue eyes that watched, waiting nervously, patiently, and so longingly, she brazenly reached out a trembling hand and trailed a nail across his chest, making sure she scraped a puckered, tiny nipple on passing.
Will sucked in a painful breath, but she knew it wasn't because she'd hurt him. It was an intimate reaction to her touch. Nervously, she did it again, with the other tiny nipple this time and was rewarded with a similar reaction. Gaining bravado, she ventured lower. Will's breath held in his throat, his eyes dropping to watch her fingertip following the line of his pants before taking the plunge to trail the length of his straining hardness.
It was then that Will finally sparked into life, scared of losing the last ounce of his control. Angry at not being able to. Grabbing her hand, he snatched it away from his throbbing body. "Don't!" he snarled, "Don't play with me, Deanna."
Where had the anger come from? Deanna wondered, as her eyes flew to his face and registered the change from need to refusal. Aware of the double entendre, the guilt instantly swept over her as she realized just how mean she was being to him.
But damn it all, he was being mean to her too. Why all this fooling around? Why all this furtiveness? Why couldn't he just take her to bed and get it over and done with. Like normal people. Like Betazoid's?
She inwardly groaned. Because he isn't a Betazoid, you dimwit. Because he's special. Because you are special, to him. Because he deserves more, more than what you are giving him.
Because he is your Imzadi.
Will watched a variety of emotions flicker across her upturned face. They ranged from a spark of anger that probably matched his own. Pain, despair and then finally, resignation. He stood still and waited, but what he was waiting for he didn't know. He was only aware that he'd had enough of her games, and now he was putting the ball firmly in her court. If she stayed, then so be it. If she walked, he wasn't going to stop her, regardless of how much agony it would cause.
But she didn't walk. In fact she stepped up closer to him, reached one hand behind her and tugged at the zipper that kept the bodice of her dress tight to her. The other hand she snaked up behind his head and pulled his face down to her open mouth, but not before her murmured, "I can do this..." reached his stunned ears.
Will heard rather than felt the rustle of her dress slip down her body, and the way she gently shifted her body away from his to allow it to drop to her waist, its thin spaghetti straps released by the barely noticeable drop of each arm. It wasn't until he allowed himself the luxury of raising his lax limbs to touch the bare skin on her back that a surge of adrenalin kicked into gear, and with a deep breath, he pulled her hard against him and devoured her willing mouth, wishing that his skin was as naked as hers so that he could feel her.
With both arms linked behind his head, Will was free to roam the creamy contours of her body, sliding his large hands along the frame of her rib cage, daring himself to raise them higher to encase her heated breasts. But he didn't dare to. Oh, mercy, he wanted to, so badly, but after her previous reactions to his forwardness, he just didn't have the courage, or the desire to have her running away from him again, so he reluctantly dropped his hands lower until they rested on the bunched up silky material of her dress that rode low upon her hips.
As he tucked his exploring fingers beneath the material, and almost groaned out aloud as the material slipped from his grasp and pooled at her feet. Now I've done it, he thought to himself, she's gonna go running. But without missing a heartbeat, he felt her shift her feet and kick the dress away. So good so far, he thought to himself, but he still didn't trust her. He broke his lips away from hers with an audible sucking noise, the minuscule sound still managing to echo in the confined, dark area.
Will couldn't stop himself from looking downwards; She was beautiful. She was more than beautiful. She was stunning. Deanna was as naked as the day she was born, and didn't seem to care about it. Quite the opposite, in fact.
She knew what he was thinking. "Betazoid's welcome nudity, it is a very strong part of our culture, Will." And then she whispered the mother of all invitations as she reached out and captured his hand, lifting it to her upper body. "Touch me."
He swallowed deeply as he settled his trembling, but eager palm against the soft mound of her breast, his heady eyes drifting shut as the pang of longing throbbed through to his loins. He wanted her, so badly, but after everything that had happened tonight, he didn't have enough trust in her to follow on through.
He felt her clasp his wrist and slowly tug. His eyes flew open as he felt himself begin to fall forward; she was pulling him to the ground. Managing to steady himself before falling in a heap on top of her, he guided himself to a sensible position beside her, finding himself on his knees as she lay seductively prone on the dirt beneath her.
Will felt an idiot; seducing a woman in a flower bed. It seemed to be the lowest of the low, and he couldn't believe he'd gotten himself into this ridiculous position, or situation and he went to tell her so, but she second guessed him by touching a silencing finger to his lips, "Shhh, it's okay. Touch me again, Will, I'm not running away anymore."
Tenderly removing her hand from his face, he stared deeply into her eyes, and knew that this time, she meant it. Her words were full of conviction, and need. Reaching up, Will removed his top, dragging his hair up, leaving it looking all spiky and then unbuttoned his pants. But he didn't take them off. He wasn't ready for that, and neither was she.
Now at a vantage point, Will leaned over and kissed her deeper than he'd ever kissed her before, swallowing the shudder of her response as she reacted to the primal motion, her fevered fingers reaching for his now bare, heated torso, the freedom to do so feeling exceptionally exquisite, and Deanna sighed, almost with relief.
Despite Deanna giving him free reign to touch her body, Will held his hands at bay, happy to just settle one hand on her small waist. But even so, he could feel her body gently gyrating, pushing towards him, beckoning him to touch and explore.
Deanna was almost frantic with hunger. Why wasn't he touching her!? Why wasn't he giving her what they both wanted!? she moaned silently. He continued to plunder her mouth as though it was his manhood invading her body. She felt his erotic thoughts seep through her, giving her an intimate taste of what was to come, but still he wouldn't touch her.
And then it sunk in to her sex-infused brain. He was scared, scared of her letting him down again. Scared of her turning tail and running. Scared of actually making love to her. William Riker was scared of doing what came as natural to him as breathing, all because she hadn't succumbed to his charms in the first five minutes of their crazy meeting.
Well, she thought, that's about to change.
In a heartbeat, she had reversed their positions. To say that Will was shocked was an understatement. She shocked him even further when she tugged at the waistband of his pants in an attempt to push them from his long legs, her face wreathed in concentration as she battled against the unusual task.
Will chuckled nervously, "Whoa! Here, let me help." lifting himself so that the job became a whole heap easier. Deanna moved them down his legs and pulled them off the other end, dropping them close by her own dress.
Will felt naked, exposed, and it took a monumental effort from himself to stop his hands from covering his nether regions. Deanna sat back on her heals and surveyed the sight before her. He had got one hell of a body - something she already knew he would have. Just looking at his clothed frame had told that he was muscular, and lean. And hairy. Everywhere. Betazoid men sported practically no hair apart from whatever was on their head and a small thatch, 'down below', much like herself. But Will was covered from head to toe, some places denser than others, and she couldn't resist fingering the tiny curls that sprang from his chest.
Her eyes flickered to his groin. He still sported the nondescript, non-fussy, standard Starfleet underwear. She knew they were, because in her wildest dreams, she couldn't imagine Will wearing them otherwise. He looked like a boxer man; elastine and tight. And red. Or black.
Lordy, her tummy flipped when the provocative image filled her mind, and before Deanna even realised what she'd said, she told him crisply, huskily, "Take them off, Will."
No one was more surprised that Will when he said in a very clear, determined voice, "No," He coughed low in his throat before emending himself, a slight blush lightening up his features,"not yet."
A moment of silence hung between them as they both weighed up his strange refusal. Deanna was certain it was nothing to do with him being shy - far from it. Perhaps, she thought, he's still expecting me to run, even though I've promised that I won't. An image of him running through the streets dressed in nothing but a small pair of standard Starfleet underpants created a tiny smile before she effectively wiped it away behind her fingers.
Okay, she thought, as she suddenly moved across and straddled his lap, here goes nothing.
Will's hands automatically went to her tiny waist, spanning it easily with his huge hands, watching her through heavy lidded eyes, waiting, admiring her nude form as she made herself comfortable upon his rapidly hardening lap. He shifted her higher, moving her away from him, unable to handle what she was doing to him. But moving her up meant she was now against his stomach, and he moaned as he felt her heat, her moistness upon him.
Deanna crowed silently at the effect that she was having on him. This was sex - pure sex. Nothing romantic, or Imzadi-ish about it. By taking the initiative, she had reduced the chance of the impending union becoming anything more than a sexual release - a release they both needed. Badly.
Dropping both hands onto the hard planes of Will's chest, she steadily met his eyes in the dimness. Will watched her and realized that she had changed. He still felt her pull, still felt an urgency to join with her, on every level, and he thought she'd wanted that too. But not now. Deanna was ready, but it was only her body that was ready. Her feelings had been pushed elsewhere for the time being.
Will wasn't sure if he liked the change, especially when she whispered urgently, "Make love to me, Will. Now."
He felt himself shrivel and die beneath her, the effect of her harsh words instantly reducing his libido to nothing. To prove it, he pushed on her hips, moving her backwards, back to where she started. Only this time time she met softness instead of solid muscle. She searched his eyes in the dimness, wordlessly.
She didn't understand what she'd done wrong, and Will felt her helplessness wash through him, and his heart melted. Tugging on her upper arms, he pulled her upper body down to his, kissing her cheek as it settled beside his. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I can't just make love to you."
He felt her blush against his face and threaded his hand into her hair, massaging the back of her head, holding her still when he felt her trying to move out of his grasp. "Deanna," he whispered huskily, "I won't make love to you, but I will make love with you."
Deanna edged herself up so that she could study his handsome face. "Isn't it the same thing?" she asked, quietly.
Will laughed quietly as he answered her, hugging her trembling body closer to his, warming it with his ardour. "No, sweetheart, it is most definitely not."
She slumped against his shoulder again, defeated, which puzzled Will. Why did she react like that!? he wondered. What in the world was going on here? They lay silently for several long moments. Will's hands continued to gently stroke along her spine as minds churned over the problem at hand.
Will knew he wanted her. He also knew he more than liked her - liked her enough to work through whatever was putting its nasty big foot smack bang in the middle of their relationship. But what relationship? he worried. They were getting nowhere and he didn't know why. Something was holding the woman in his arms back. Something that was over-riding her basic needs. Something that was important.
But what?
If this problem had happened to him on Earth, he would have said the woman beneath him was having a problem with her morals. Or her age. Or perhaps it would be guilt, or simply that she just didn't want him enough.
It happens. Not often, but it happens.
But none of the things related to Deanna. None. So he figured it was a cultural thing. A Betazoid thing. He could only ask. "Deanna, is there something I should know - about you...or us?" He felt her stiffen; her body going rigid along side his, she even tried pushing up from him to get away, but he held on to her. "Deanna?" he demanded.
"No. No, there's nothing. It's just me being silly. I'm sorry." She hurriedly murmured, before kissing him briefly on the cheek.
Will didn't believe her for a minute. Gently he tried again. "Deanna, when we make love, are we going to be okay...after?"
"Yes, of course!" she told him.
He tried again, "Am I going to get frog-marched in front of a priest or something - forced to marry you because I've taken your...innocence?" he joked.
She laughed weakly at his attempt at humour, "No! nothing like that." And then she thought about what he'd just said. "You know I've never...?" she asked with dread.
He nodded once, "Yes. I know that all this..." he searched for the right word, "playing around is because you're scared, and you don't know what to do," he hurriedly amended himself, "but that's okay, I understand. What's happening between us is scary."
He took her chin in his strong fingers, forcing her to face him straight on before continuing, "But Deanna, it is going to be the most beautiful experience of your life, if you'll just let me in. I can show you what it can be like for us - What it's going to be like for us." he emended.
God, she wanted to believe him. She wanted so much for him to take her in hand, and love her in the same way that he loved other women; naturally. Honestly. But she couldn't be honest back. She didn't dare be honest back. But she wanted to try. She really wanted Will to show her how it could be. All she had to do was hold on to her soul. "Okay." she whispered.
One simple word slipped passed her lips and everything changed again. Before she changed her mind again, Will pulled her back to him and kissed her. This time there was no holding back. He let his hands roam where they wanted; touching her everywhere. Stroking her everywhere. Delving into everywhere, letting his body climb back up to its previously uncomfortable state again. He gritted his teeth against the strain of holding back. He wanted her to be ready for him. He wanted her to be unable to stop when he pushed too far.
She scooted back, sitting upright on him. He moaned as he felt her scorch him through the fabric of his underwear, but seconds later, he gasped when she reached down and freed him from the tight restraint, settling her small fingers around him.
"Deanna!" he warned, the growl coming up from his boots as he struggled against doing what he ached to do to her. The back of his head buried itself deeper into the grainy dirt as it suddenly dropped back, the simple power of her sensitive touch jerking everything into life within him. Not yet, Riker. God, not yet, he silently moaned.
But she had other ideas. Dropping back down along his length, she guided him toward her, gasping a little at the sensations that rocked through her at the first intimate touch against her. So hard, so swollen, and so large. Deanna began to tremble as she imagined what it was going to feel like as he entered her.
Will pulled her fingers away from him, taking both her hands and imprisoning them beside his head, allowing their bodies alone to complete the imminent union. He gently moved against her own movements, slowly parting her, opening her until he finally entered her, going deeper and deeper, allowing her to be the one to draw him inside of herself, encasing him in her damp heat.
She felt...Oh god, he couldn't put words to the feelings, as he closed his eyes and let those feelings control him. Will didn't think he'd had ever welcomed a sensation as eagerly as he did this one. It surpassed every other intimate instant he'd know, purely because of the fight beforehand; the wait.
Or maybe it was because of something else; that something more that was filling his soul. Was it love? It couldn't be. Not yet. It was too soon. It wasn't possible. It wasn't sensible. He'd never fallen in love.
Until now.
As the thought crept into his head, Will opened his eyes and let himself see the woman he was falling in love with. She was watching him intently. Her black eyes glistened, captured by a tiny shard of light that had found a way through the shadows.
He felt...honoured. The rush of tender emotion swept through him, and he quickly released her hands and pulled her head to his, settling his mouth against her and letting the tidal wave of desire begin.
Deanna's fingers dug into the soft dirt either side of Will's head as the shock of what Will was doing to, not only her mouth, but her body too. He'd dropped his hands to her hips, taking up the master role, guiding her so that he could fill her more completely. She felt him shove down his underpants a little more, moving them away enough to expose himself fully and then grasping her hips again firmly, he thrust upwards, just once, filling her deeper still.
Deanna cried out, breaking her mouth away from his as the strange intrusion penetrated the deep, untouched, internal heart of her. For a moment Will thought he'd hurt her, but when she moved her hips a little and found his open mouth again, he knew it hadn't been about the pain, but surprise - a nice surprise.
The pace started off slowly. He glided in and barely out of her over and over again, every movement threatening to turn his gut inside out. So controlled. So alive. So intense. And something else. Something that kept fluttering in the back of his mind. A word. It wasn't until they both unanimously began to quicken the pace, that the word began to become coherent.
No...
No... no... no
Will was perplexed. Why in the world was she muttering, no? What is hell's name was she fighting against? The imminent orgasm? The fear of letting herself go so completely. Him releasing himself inside her - which he didn't plan on doing? Whatever it was, it was scaring her senseless.
What he did know was that it was making him angry. He felt it in the way he suddenly gripped her head with one hand, threading his fist into her hair, yanking it to a position so that he could literally assault her mouth. And he did, brutally. The other hand, drawn to the base of her spine, pushed down as he thrust upwards, time and time again. He pounded into her - relentlessly, intently, angrily.
But instead of having the desired effect, it did the opposite. Will felt her respond to the harsh treatment in the way she began to squirm against him, trying to maximise the contact between them, forcing her over sensitized bud to brush against him. The way her tongue wrestled with his, releasing tiny, pleading whimpers. The way her body went taut, trying to hold on. Trying to let go.
But still he heard that word,No! only now it was a desperate, no. But it was a no that wanted to become a yes.
Will suddenly released her mouth and pushed up up away from him, his movements hurried, spiteful even. Roughly gripping her hips, he held her above him, just for a moment, then pushed down onto him, hard. But with that push, a word squeezed between his tense, drawn back lips, the effort of his spent control trickled down his temple into his hair. "Yes!" he hissed.
Deanna's eyes went wide when the angry word spat from his mouth. He'd heard her. He'd heard her futile effort to stop herself from moaning the one word that she truly wanted to say. The one word that would change her universe. The one word that would tie her soul to his. And she didn't want to say it. She wouldn't. She couldn't. But, Oh, God, she wanted to, so much.
What she would have given to be able to experience the ultimate Betazoid gift with the man she loved was beyond comprehension, and she had it here, just a heartbeat away. A word away. All she had to do was open her soul, her heart and her mind and let Will share it. But she couldn't. She wouldn't.
But the man beneath her was intent on extracting it from her, one way or the other. He believed he was trying to get her body to release its precious gift, but if he'd known what was really at stake, she was sure it would be her dumped on her butt watching him run away. And she wasn't about to risk it, no matter what her mother had told her. No matter how much it cost her. Or hurt her.
Damn her! Will seethed. She wasn't giving in. But he had another surprise for her. Neither was he. In the space of a heartbeat, Will rolled her beneath him, managing to shuck his underpants along the way, crushing a multitude of greenery as he did so. But he didn't care, and nor did she.
Deanna felt her hair become heavy and gritty with dirt, but it was too late to worry about it now. She had more important things on her mind. Like loving the man that relentlessly crashed his way through her carefully erected barriers.
Will began to move again, rising himself above her like an Adonis. His skin glistened with moisture, his eyes, drugged with passion as they studied her features. Bending at the elbow, Will lowered his head, sealing his lips with hers, his tongue sought out and found hers, swirling and dancing, soaking up her own desire.
Now he was free of the his cumbersome clothing, Will didn't hold back. Embedded to the absolute hilt, he pushed Deanna's knees higher and further back and she gasped at the extra depth it created. He was so deep, she could feel him against her womb, searching for deliverance. Reaching for home.
They both began to climb again and felt their heartbeats thumping together as the tension increased tenfold. Will tore his mouth away from hers, needing to watch her fall apart in his arms, soothed by the missing negative word that had filled his head. Now he needed to hear her cry out another.
He gripped her chin, planting a quick sharp kiss upon her gasping mouth, searching her eyes as he fought to control his imminent explosion. "Say it, Deanna. Say it!" he pleaded, unable to hide the anger that laced what should have been a euphoric moment.
"No!" she cried, "I can't! I won't!" as she tried to tear her face from his vice-like grip.
Her eyes were filled with terror and frenzied passion, and Will thought it was a strange combination, strange enough to slow himself down and look deeply into her eyes. Tenderly brushing away the sweat-dampened wispy hair that caressed her cheeks, Will gently, reverently, kissed her lips, and whispered, "Please. For me."
His desolate, broken plea was the undoing of her, and with a heart-wrenching sob, Deanna linked her arms around his neck, kissed him deeply and let it happen.
The rush of freedom from her was so serene, so quiet, Will wasn't quite sure it had happened until he felt the familiar moist warmth surround his own pulsating, sexual release. But he knew the real reason her climax had almost passed him by - the word. A word he hadn't expected, threw him for a loop along with the eerie way his mind and his heart seemed to separate from his body's explosion.
"Imzadi!"
The word tore from her throat as though it had been dragged up from the very gates of hell. Gently slipping himself out of her body before activating his own painful release, he raised himself back onto his very unsteady arms, Will stared at Deanna's face that was wreathed in agony. Tears streamed from her eyes and he knew that if he hadn't of had her pinned beneath him, she would have ran away. She clawed at his chest in a valiant effort to move him off, eventually instead throwing her hands over her face to hide her evident shame and misery.
Will blinked hard and wondered what had just transpired. He felt different, which was stupid because he knew he didn't look any different. But he certainly felt different. Like, he wasn't 'alone' anymore. Like, his new best friend had just coalesced with him, and stayed.
Swallowing painfully, he plucked up the courage to ask her in a voice that was as unsteady as his arms. But even as he said it, he felt himself withdrawing away from her, both physically and mentally, until eventually he sat beside her, waiting. "What did you just do to me, Deanna?" his voice was low, threatening. Scared.
Deanna licked her suddenly dry lips, her body still pulsating with raw emotion. "I...I," she trailed off, unable to think of a suitable response. "I'm sorry." she said, instead. Pulling herself to an unsteady stand, she reached for her dress, using it simply to cover her frontal nudity, which seemed a little absurd, considering what had just happened between them.
Will pulled himself to a stand too, but stood, tall, naked and proud, his eyes never leaving the smaller woman's face. "Sorry for what, Deanna. What the hell just happened between us. What did you do?" He didn't realise he'd moved closer to her until he found himself looking down at her upturned, scared face, his stance, his voice threatening, as though he was reprimanding a subordinate. "Deanna," he growled, "answer me, dammit!"
"I...I made you...mine," cowering as the painful admission left her lips.
Reeling back on his heals, Riker blinked, several times, letting her simple, but he knew it was anything but, statement filter through the throbbing pain steadily growing in his head, making him slightly nauseous before saying incredulously, heatedly, "What!?"
Now the truth was out, Deanna regained some of her equilibrium, straightening out her body so that she could face him, eye to eye, even though it was still from at least ten inches below him. She squared her shoulders and repeated herself. "I made you mine. I made you my Imzadi."
Will spun away from her, trying desperately to reign in his runaway emotions. But just as quickly he'd turned away, he spun back around on her, fire spitting in his vivid blue eyes and blood pounding in his head. Did she mean, 'mine' as in, 'mine because they have made love', or was it 'mine' as in, 'my slave forever'? Fear gripped him by the throat, threatening to suffocate him. Will felt strangled; Imprisoned, and only one word managed to leave his mouth, "Explain."
Deanna studied his rigid features for a moment before dropping her gaze lower and swallowing the sudden rush of unbidden desire that flickered through her. She swallowed noisily. "I think you should put some clothes on before I explain anything."
For all intense and purposes, Will looked as though he was going to ignore her, and then one sharp look downwards had him inwardly agreeing. Swinging his gaze around for his underpants, he soon gave up the search when it looked like that they had vanished into thin air. Instead he grabbed his pants from the pile and slipped them on. As he tugged his top over his head, he heard Deanna slip her own dress over her head, the whisper of silk bringing a kick of desire as he envisaged it cascading over her nude curves, aware that she was still naked beneath the crimson folds.
Will raked his hand through his hair, grimacing at the dirt that had embedded itself in it. He glanced at Deanna, pitying her because he was aware that hers must have been much, much worse. They stood in tense silence looking at each other, only their laboured breathing giving away the tumultuous emotion that raged beneath the surface.
Will spotted a movement lower down and dropped his still overwhelmed gaze to her shaking, out-stretched hand. Raising uncertain, questioning eyes back to hers again, he saw only tenderness, and understanding, but among both, Will spotted fear - the fear of loss, a fear that he mirrored, and moments later, he slipped his own, not so steady fingers into hers.
Chapter nine
They retraced their steps back to the gazebo. To anyone else's eye, they looked like any other courting couple as they walked along, with their hands linked. But to the trained eye, anyone could see the stiff shoulders, and the reluctant pulling of her hand in his, the shadows of doubt in their eyes as they warily threw side-glances at each other as they tried to gauge each others feelings.
Even though their pace was slow and leisurely, the tension between them garnered feelings of urgency. Will tried to stealthily look at the woman beside him, but every time he did so, she caught him. She seemed to be so attuned to him, that it momentarily startled him. Was this part of the Imzadi legacy she had bestowed upon him? he wondered. Every thought that I had, or every look, she would know about, or feel?
Will began to feel uneasy again. Trapped, and he felt his throat and his heart constrict; squeeze tighter against the sudden threat of losing his soul, and his sanity to something he didn't understand. But then he reasoned with his warring mind that she did try to stop him. She did try and fight against becoming - whatever it is they've become! He felt himself looking sideways again, only this time when his eyes met hers, it was with understanding. She was aware of his inner chaos, and knew she was the one to cause it. But was she able to allay it?
He was scared stupid, Deanna thought, as she caught him looking over at her again. She saw him frown when her eyes had met his and she quickly surmised that he thought it was part of the Imzadi gift that they now possessed. In truth, it was simply because Deanna hadn't taken her eyes off him, not even for a second.
They had made love together. They'd had the most beautiful experience bequeathed to man, and woman, and they had become Imzadi. Reluctant Imzadi. Deanna wanted - needed to know if their union had meant as much to him as it had to her, and the only way to do that was to relive it. Relive the love. Relive the moment when his body entered hers.
A warmth stole through her as she filled her mind with him again, letting the image of them making love tumble through her thoughts, and it brought a tender smile to her lips. Will turned his head to look at her again and she felt his gaze bore through her as his own mind begin to see what she saw. Deanna held on to the image, letting it transcend into his, watching the memory visibly shake him to his core.
Time stopped. Everything stopped. Their feet. Their hearts. Their breathing, as they stood and absorbed the intimate moment between them. Will's eyes glistened with hunger as the strange dream-like moment filled his senses. He turned his body towards her, his eyes never leaving hers as they both rode the wave again, its culmination releasing the breath in their lungs on a whoosh.
Sounds of the night began again as Will studied the small woman before him as she looked up into his face. "Is that what it is going to be like for us, from now on?" he asked, his questioning voice husky with emotion, and desire.
Her barely inaudible, "Yes," slipped from between her lips. Deanna didn't apologise for it, she didn't see the point, or the need. It had happened. It was done. Will was her Imzadi now, and he was just going to have to get used to it. But what Deanna wanted in her heart was for Will to accept it and embrace it, even possibly become her Imzadi, in every sense that the endearment meant, but first she had to explain her actions, and what she had bestowed upon him, and hope that he didn't end up hating her for it.
They took the last few steps to the gazebo and sank down together onto its softness. All of a sudden, a shyness crept in between them, and for a long moment neither one knew what to say. But Will had so many questions racing around his head, he had to get the ball rolling.
He studied her fingers, still entwined with his, marvelling the cascade of colours on her long, slender opalesce painted nails as the moonlight glinted on them. "Did you know this was going to happen..." he broke off, raising his eyes briefly to hers before adding, "to us?" Deep in the corners of his soul, a feeling that whatever had happened to them had been special and was not an every day occurrence. He still wasn't sure if he had been blessed or cursed and was becoming tremendously uneasy. It was gnawing away at his gut not knowing,
Deanna licked her overly dry lips, the movement releasing her even drier tongue, allowing her to speak. "My...mother warned me that it might happen, but I thought I could control it. I failed. I'm sorry." she trailed off, suddenly embarrassed again.
"Your mother!?" Will said, his voice rising with surprise, "Your mother knows that we we're...we've...?"
She nodded, "Of course. She is one of the most powerful telepaths on the planet, Will. I don't like that she knows absolutely everything that happens with me, but sometimes it can be a blessing not having to explain myself, or my actions, because she always invariably knows,"
And then she added sadly, "and sometimes I wish she'd leave my head in peace."
She didn't have to add, 'like now.' it was written all over her face; failure. Her head hung low, covering her forlorn features, and Will had no choice but to watch the crown of her head as he waited for her to continue. Deanna had failed in keeping Will out of her soul and knew that her mother knew. And she knew that her mother knew that the union hadn't gone well. True, destiny had been fulfilled, but at what cost? An overwhelming feeling of loss washed over her and Will felt its impact sweep through him too.
Deanna rose her eyes to his, but now they shimmered with moisture. His resolve to not succumb to her feminine wiles until she had revealed her secrets melted along with his heart when he saw her struggling with her pain and realised that this was as hard for her as it was for him. Moments later his arms moved towards her, and with a muttered, "Come here," he pulled her onto his lap.
She sank against his chest and let the relief pour from her as he cradled her in his large arms. He felt her voice rumble through his chest, "I'm sorry, Will. I never meant for this to happen. I know how important your career is to you, and I'm not going to hold you back just because of what's happened."
"But what has happened? Tell me, Deanna, so that I can understand." Will pleaded, quietly.
Okay, here goes, Deanna thought silently, and she took a deep breath. "On my planet, love..." she hesitated. The word 'love' seemed to be too strong for the moment and she tried to think of another one better suited, but couldn't, so she continued, "love between two people has become something of an extension of the spoken word."
She glanced briefly into his shadowed face, comforted by the intensity that held it rapt as she spoke, so she continued once she'd settled her cheek against the huge barrel of his chest, the heartbeat within it, solid and even. "Sometimes, people - lovers, are privileged to experience this extra level of the emotion. They go beyond the simplistic level of love that most people know."
"What happened to us tonight was beyond love. We became, Imzadi because our feelings for each other are deeper than normal."
Once more she sat up higher, her face just a few scant inches away from his, her eyes studied his, beseeching him to look further than what he saw. "Will, can't you feel that what we have is more than you've ever felt before?"
Will's fingers stung with pain, linked together at her waist, holding her onto his lap. He did feel different, but he had never experienced the concept of love before. He had never been in love, so he wasn't quite sure that what he was feeling was love or magic, because the moment of intimacy that they had just shared had been magic. He'd felt like he was floating. He'd felt connected, to her. He'd felt...good.
Wonderful.
Sanctified.
"Yes," he whispered, "Yes, I feel it, but I don't understand what it means from now on, Deanna. What now?"
She turned her head away from him long enough in the vain attempt to hide the pain that her one word created, "Nothing." before re-claiming her heart, her voice, and her traitorous eyes to face him again, "Nothing. I'll live my life, and you'll live yours." she ended sadly.
Suddenly Will's eyes glittered with humorous malice and his voice dripped with venom as he spoke, "Oh, no, no, no, Deanna. It is not quite that simple, is it?" he growled, "I feel connected to you. I bet if I walked away from you now, inside my head, I would hear you call me back. When I leave this planet, you'll be coming with me, maybe not in person, but you'll still be with me, won't you, Deanna?"
He knew the moment he'd hurt her when he watched the tears well in her eyes when he said that he was leaving, but up until that moment he hadn't realised why it was going to cause her so much pain. He'd been arrogant enough to know that Deanna had probably fallen in love with him, and if he was totally honest with himself, he'd fallen for her. But she'd known, as he did, that he was going to leave Betazed, but until now, Will had thought that maybe he'd be leaving behind just a broken heart. Now he knew different. He would be leaving his own soul behind too.
Her throat tightened around the words that wanted to come out, so she simply nodded, the movement releasing a tear. Will watched it trickled down her soft cheek, automatically reaching his hand up and brushing it away with his thumb. Tucking strands of wayward curls behind her ear, Will murmured, "Will that be so bad?"
Deanna didn't realise he had spoken until his silence was so obviously waiting for an answer. She was so rapt with losing herself in his sea-blue eyes, heavy with need and tenderness that she forgot everything except watching him. And then suddenly his question filtered through the fog, "Will what be so bad?"
Will rolled his eyes, and a half indulgent smile lifted his lips, but he soon turned serious again, "Will it be so bad if I take a little piece of you with me when I go?" he asked, a touch of hope lacing his words, as inch by inch pulling her slowly towards his waiting mouth, and as her lips settled against his, he heard her breathy, barely audible whisper of, "No."
Chapter ten
"Smell this one, Will, it's called Cherrydew," she plucked the deep Burgundy bloom and held it under his nose, her face alight with mischief and wonder, "it smells just like the fruit, doesn't it?"
Will breathed in the sweet, and yes, definitely cherry scented, and murmured his agreement, trying his hardest to keep his chain of thought directed to the flower in question and not that he'd just recently had tasted something else that had decidedly tasted of something similar.
Deanna watched as his eyes flared with desire and instinctively knew that he wasn't thinking about the flower in her fingers but something else a little more...erotic. Twirling the bloom between her fingertips, she linked her arm with his again and they continued moving around the vast flower beds.
They looked like a normal, happy couple on a warm, summer's day, admiring the flora and fauna in the arboretum. Only it wasn't a warm, summer's day. It was three o'clock in the morning. It was pitch black, apart from the illuminations, and the couple were both stark naked.
They had made love again, but this time their love-making had been different. It had been romantic. Now that the fears had vanished, and the newness of intimacy had gone too, a new awareness had risen. Love had emerged from its secret place and surrounded them both with its power. When Will had entered her a second time, it was with not only her blessing, but her culture's, and perversely, he felt it was with her mother's approval too.
But even so, the shadow of his eventual leaving hovered between them, and it was the next large hurdle they faced. Could he stay? Should he go? Could he leave her behind? In the back of his mind, the questions churned over and over, sullying the precious memories he was creating in the here and now.
Deanna looked up into his face, her eyes alive with feeling. He dropped a quick kiss to her lips, slipping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her against his side, making an effort to dispel the nasty thoughts until another time. Until he had no choice but to think about them. He felt her own slim arm snake around his waist and he sighed with contentment, squeezing her shoulder to spread the feeling across to her. She answered him with a squeeze of her own.
Slowly, they gradually made their way back to the gazebo, and reluctantly began to put on their clothes, knowing that it was time to step back into reality. From the moment they had sealed themselves in the glass dome, their life had become surreal. Unforgettable.
As the folds of her crimson dress shimmered down her thighs, Will slipped on the last piece of his attire, his shoe, and then it was done; they were back to normal. Back to the now, and as they stood, face to face, a shyness stole over each other and silence balanced equally between them.
But pushing aside the shyness, they unanimously stepped into each other's arms. They felt as though they were saying goodbye, even though the feeling was illogical. Will wasn't leaving, and Deanna had long since accepted that destiny had taken over and shown her what her future held.
But then with a flip of the coin, Will remembered that he was leaving - probably sooner than later, and destiny had got it wrong for Deanna. How could she survive without her Imzadi by her side? How was she going to survive without her Imzadi by her side?
Too many changes were happening tonight, and every one of them was out of their control, except one. The important one. Imzadi. The were both aware that they could, and probably would, walk away and never see each other again. And they both knew that their lives had changed forever, not because of Imzadi, but because of love. They had fallen in love. They had become lovers, and they would always have the memories.
But Imzadi...Imzadi had bound them together for eternity, no matter what. Love could move on, a second best could take the place of the one, true love. And time could be forgotten, and so could memories, but there would always be Imzadi.
~~
"Will I see you tomorrow?"
The whispered question tickled her ear, and Deanna smiled, drawing his body even closer than before if possible. She slid her hands up his back, testing the texture and marvelling at the power in his shoulders.
She dropped a light kiss upon his smooth cheek, her own voice as quiet as his.
"Yes." And then she was gone.
Will watched the door close with a quiet click, her perfume, along with another scent now, lingering in the porch way, and he drew a deep breath, savouring and saving it for a private moment alone when he got to his quarters.
He groaned as he turned, already missing her. Suddenly tomorrow seemed a lifetime away.