IMZADI - THE LOST CHAPTERS
The Waiting Game
by Carol Sandford
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Chapter 1
~~~~~~~

"For God's sake, Deanna, answer me, dammit!" Will swore profusely as yet again, she refused to answer his hail. Determined to speak to her, he had tried again and again. repeating the hail for hours. The constant chirp would have driven anyone crazy, but even so, she still did not answer him. He had also left countless messages, asking - pleading Deanna to call him.

But she ignored every single one.

Once, out of sheer desperation Will had even tried her mother. Bad move. He had been stunned that from out of a woman with her prestigious upbringing, could come some of the worst verbal abuse that Will Riker, man of the world, Mr. Unshockable, had ever heard.

It had been nearly three months since leaving Deanna on Risa before Will had returned from deep space and as soon as he'd got within communique range, he had tried to call her. Assuming that she was not in her room, Will had left a cheery message, expecting an even more cheery message back later on in the day. He had been mystified when he'd received nothing. For four days on the trot, he had left a message, morning, noon and night. Then he had stayed silent for a week, figuring that maybe, just maybe, she'd gone on leave. And then he'd tried again, morning, noon and night, until it had finally sunk into his thick skull that Deanna Troi had got the right royal pip.

And eventually, he realised that maybe, just maybe, she hadn't got his message that he'd left with Tang.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tang was up to his ears in paperwork when he heard the familiar chirp on his console and he stared silently at it for a few seconds as he read the data that was informing him of the communiques origin. It was the Hood.

It was Will Riker.

Taking a few seconds to bolster up the courage to face him, he unconsciously sat up straight in his seat, and reluctantly punched the answering button. Will's face swam into view and Tang noticed how much he had changed in three short months. Staring back at him was a man that had been in one to many wars and seen one too many deaths. He also recognised a face that was desperate for information of his loved one. He wanted to know what had happened to Deanna Troi.

Will didn't hang around. "Hello Tang, it's been a while. It's good to see your face."

Tang smiled at the anxious face before him. "Hello, Lieutenant Commander Riker."

Will laughed at the formal title. "Yes, yes, very funny Tang, you cut the crap. Will will do perfectly well, thank you."

Tang grinned at him, relieved that he hadn't changed that much. "O.k. sir. Anyway, it's still good to see you. "

An expectant moment's silence followed as they both plucked up the courage to approach the much needed information, but Tang got in first. "Sir...Will. I didn't manage to get your message to Miss Troi. I was out on patrol...I didn't get back until five days later. I'm sorry."

Tang silently watched as Will digested the news.

Watched as his eyes told him how much his information had hurt.

Watched as his hand came up to his head and almost covered the handsome face in his despair.

Tang felt helpless. He had let his friend down in the worst possible way and all he could offer him was his heartfelt apologies. "I'm sorry, Will. If there is anything I can do."

Tang watched as Will shook his head, removing his hand to show him just what the news had done to him. Tang's gut twisted with remorse, he hoarsely whispered to the pain-etched face. "Christ, I am so sorry, Will."

Will shook his head as he began to rationalise that it was nobody's fault and just an accumulation of bad luck. He also knew that he needed to release Tang of his guilt. "It was not your fault, Tang. It was no one's fault. You could not have known, and you could not have prevented any of this."

Will mind drifted off again as he wondered how to solve his dilemma until finally he turned to the screen with the question in his eyes. "I take it you haven't tried to contact her on Earth?"

Will was surprised when Tang. "Yes, sir, I did, but I got no response, I don't thing the little lady wanted to listen. "

Will sat up expectantly. "You mean you actually spoke to her?"

His expectancy died as quickly as it arose as he watched Tang shake his head. "No, sir, I did not. Nor did she answer the message I left asking her to contact me."

Will nodded slowly as he muttered. "She was sure pissed at me, wasn't she?" The question didn't need an answer and Tang didn't offer one.

Moments later, Will sighed and resignedly accepted that for the moment, nothing could be done. But as an afterthought infiltrated through his misery, Tang saw a spark of life brighten the sky blue eyes. "O.k. I'm done chasing. But will you do me a favour, Tang?"

Tang nodded warily, no longer confident in his ability to uphold any sort of favours, or promises, but needed to somehow make amends in any way that he could. He nodded more forcefully. "If I can, sir."

"Will you keep me informed of how she's keeping, and her whereabouts? Just because she thinks I don't give a hoot about her doesn't mean I have to stop caring, she's too important to me, Tang."

Tang smiled sadly, relieved that what he wanted was relatively simple to achieve. He didn't work for Starfleet without having some pull, and if that was all Will wanted of him, then that was what he'd get. "No problem sir"

The two men's eyes locked as they conveyed the unspoken understanding and their respect for each other until eventually, Will gave him a tight lipped salute and severed the connection.

Chapter 2

~~~~~~~~~

Two Years later

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deanna pushed back her chair with a sigh. She'd had enough for one day, feeling slightly guilty as she almost welcomed her last patient's exit.

Letting her body slump low in the luxurious soft leather chair, she let her head fall back. Her eyes closed and she let her mind empty of the days events. But as she tried to fill her mind with sights that not so long ago she had considered therapeutic, they now only held sad memories for her. Her mind focused on the abstract picture that hung in the museum. The large concentric swirls once reminded her of peace, tranquillity and love. Now when she thought about the painting, Will's face appeared in it's place. The colours swirled and fused together to make up the outline of him, and his words continually echoed in her head. *I'm coming for you, be ready. I love you Deanna.*

Deanna's eyes snapped open along with the spark of anger that flared when she heard those all too familiar words. Her derisive outburst followed again as it did whenever she tried to shut him out her mind. *Love! Love! You don't know the meaning of the word, Will Riker. You would never have left me if you truly loved me.* Knowing that she sounded like a spoilt brat, she quietly added, *You could have least have tried, Imzadi.*

Deanna's eyes opened and caught sight of the newly framed diploma that graced her newly acquired office wall. Coming home to Betazed to begin her counselling career amongst familiar surroundings, with her old friends, and her mother, had been the only thing that for two years that Deanna focused on.

Graduating from the Starfleet Academy in less than two years still made her swell with inner pride. Her previous training at her home university had already sent her well on her way, plus the added bonus of being empathic, seemingly forged her path with a silver lining. On passing the exam with honours, the only blight on the horizon was that the one person who she wanted to share her joy with was no where to be seen and she began to wonder if he was ever likely to be.

Deanna's mind wandered back to the earlier times, to Risa. To the time when she had to face the humiliation of returning to Earth, to the questions, the sympathetic stares, and the 'I told you so' conversation with her mother.

For that alone she didn't think she would ever forgive Will.

Getting back into the swing of academy life was harder than she ever imagined, purely because her heart was shattered, along with her spirit. More than once she had packed up and prepared to return home, but the one person who made her stop, stay and grow up was her mother.

Of all the people she had expected sympathy and welcoming arms from was Lwaxana Troi, but she was decidedly put out to find her quite forcefully discouraging Deanna to, 'give in'.

But Deanna's biggest fear now was the prospect of Will's eventual return to Earth; of actually seeing him, face to face. One day.

But it never happened.

Deanna was never quite sure if it was a blessing in disguise, or a deliberate evasion on his part.

Her heart ached for him, but that very same ache told her to step back and give it time...lots of time.

Now was the time to make a career for herself. Some day, one day she would meet Will again, but next time, it would be on her terms. Along side the ache that she doubted would ever leave her, was a determination to show Will Riker that she could, and would, survive without him. She was going to prove to him, her mother, and to hersel, that she, Deanna Troi, could do something with her life, on her own.

But it still hurt.

A knock on her door took her by surprise and she physically jumped, bringing her out of her reverie. "Come in."

The door swung open quietly and Deanna craned her head to see who it was, because whoever it was, initially made no move to enter. After a few moments though, she was surprised to see Sergeant Tang standing there. He was in full uniform and nervously twisted his beret around in his huge hands. Deanna watched the hypnotic motion for a few moments before raising her eyes to his face. He looked very nervous, but it was not the emotion that Deanna felt from him. It was shame.

Deanna tentatively smiled at him, unsure of his reason for the visit. "Hello, Tang, this is a pleasant surprise. Please, come in."

Tang stepped into the room far enough to be able to close the door. He resumed his nervous twirling. Deanna sensed that he had and needed to say something important so she stayed silent. It was several moments before he glanced up at her face and then away to the window as he composed himself before eventually clearing his throat. "Hurrumph. I'm sorry, miss, for not getting Lieutenant Riker's message to you on time. Believe me, if I'd have known, I would have done my utmost to have gotten that message to you, but I was away on patrol. I'm sorry, Miss Troi. Really, really sorry."

Deanna wasn't sure if her heart stopped beating with the words, 'Lieutenant Riker, or 'message' but when it started again, she was sure that Tang must have heard it's thump. "Message Tang. What message?"

Once more Tang shifted restlessly and Deanna stood and made her way over to him. She reached out to touch his arm, her voice calming. Begging for news. "What message, Tang?" She repeated.

Sadly as he relayed the message to her, he watched her eyes well. "The day that Will was supposed to meet you on Risa, he sent a communique to me just before he went into deep space saying that he would not be able to make the rendezvous and for you to return to Earth and wait for word from him there. Nothing would have stopped him coming for you miss, if he could've, it was out of his control."

His next words forced the tears that had built to spill down her now pallid cheeks. "He said...he said, tell her that I love her." Surprisingly, Tang had no difficulty saying the fragile words to the delicate woman that stood before him, knowing of their importance, and knowing that it was the only chance he had of making things right.

Time stopped as Deanna absorbed his words and Tang took a step towards her, his eyes, and arms beckoning. Feeling the need to be a father figure for her, but not quite sure if she would welcome the gesture, he gently pulled her into his arms, offering any comfort that he could. At first she was stiff and unwieldy, but he could feel her sorrow seeping through him and unconsciously he began to gently rock, rather like lulling a small child off to sleep. Eventually he felt her body posture began to relax and he heard her sniff. He realised it was her way of silently asking him to release her and he did so, stepping back to give her space.

He gruffly asked, "Are you alright?" Relieved when she offered him a watery smile.

She nodded. "Yes...yes, thank you, Tang. I'm sorry about all that, it's been a long time. I think I must have been storing it up, even if I did promise myself that I wouldn't cry over him anymore."

Tang smiled as he tried to reassure her "It's o.k. ma'am, I'm glad I was here to help, even if it was mostly my fault that this has happened."

Deanna cut him off, "No...No, Tang, don't say that. I have come to realise that it was probably the best thing to have happened. We were both too young, and we both had too many dreams that needed us to be individuals to achieve them. You probably did us the biggest favour, so don't ever, ever blame yourself, Tang, please!"

Tang became nervous again as he posed his next question to her. "Do you think you will ever get together again, Miss?"

Deanna grinned at him, her eyes still bright with unshed tears. Feeling the need to set his mind at ease, she spoke with every conviction that her heart could muster, "Absolutely. When the time is right for both of us, we will be together, of that I am certain."

Tang frowned, "Why didn't you answer any of your communiques? I'm sure Will tried to contact you many times, as did I."

Deanna stepped back and turned away, her face thoughtful. "By the time I had arrived back to Earth, I'd realised that Will not coming had been the best thing for both of us and I saw no point in resurrecting the relationship. It would have been unbearable and pointless at that time, so I severed any contact, including any from you, Tang, and it seems to have worked hasn't it? I've qualified from Starfleet Academy and Will...well, Will is out there, doing what Will does best. He couldn't have done it with me in tow. I know it, and I'm sure he knows it too."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I made a conscious effort to wipe Will from my life, and it hurt, Tang. The pain was an experience that I never want to go through ever again, and I know I would have, if he'd have come to Risa. He would have left me again, Tang, and what would I have been left with? No Will, no career, and absolutely no self esteem, and no self respect. No, Tang. What I did, I did for the best, for both of us."

She turned back to face him, feeling that she had made peace within herself once more and she smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you again, Tang for everything."

Tang simply smiled and turned to leave her office, but Deanna's voice, low with underlying doubt of what she was about to ask of him, stopped him in his tracks as he turned to face her once more.

"Tang, could you...could you keep me posted of Will's whereabouts?"

Tang smiled knowingly and his eyes twinkled with pleasure as he whispered hoarsely, "Of course, ma'am."

Chapter 3

~~~~~~~

Deanna watched Gart Xerx stir his coffee, but as he spoke, her mind snapped to attention. "I hear that the new Federation's Flagship is almost ready to sail."

Deanna glanced up at his face to find him quietly watching her, waiting, to gauge her reaction and Deanna's heart pumped harder. She was certain that the table's other occupant must of heard it and her eyes flew to each one of her closest friend's, searching for something. She didn't know what to say and Deanna found herself locked onto Chandra's rich brown eyes. The silent message bounced between them and Deanna didn't need to mention his name.

*Do you think he'll be commissioned to it?*

*I don't know, Last I heard he'd been offered captaincy of The Drake*

*No...No, I heard that it had been destroyed at a planet called Minos*

Gart spoke aloud, breaking the silent communication between the two girls. "I also heard that they intend having a full time Counselor aboard. I put your name forward Deanna."

Deanna was open-mouthed and blinked several times as she took in what her dear friend and mentor was telling her, not quite believe what she was hearing. "Excuse me?"

Gart's professional mode kicked in as he repeated his statement. "I recommended you for the post. You would be perfect for it, Deanna, and I might add, it's just what you've been waiting for."

Feeling her terror, Chandra reached over to grasp Deanna's chilled fingers. Deanna looked at her dearest friend with a mixture of disbelief, trepidation, excitement, and horror and once more, the two friends minds linked.

*But what if he's serving on that ship?*

*Honey, you're going to bump into him sooner or later, but until then, you've got to do what you want to do. You've waited this long, you can wait a little longer, and besides, he made his choice, Deanna. Will chose his career over you, so now it's his turn to wait.*

Deanna sighed. *You're right. I've got to do this, for me. If Will Riker wants me, he's going to have to do the chasing. We'll see if I'm ready to be caught when he finally catches up with me.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's a shame about the Drake, sir. I heard that she was a great ship in her heyday."

Will nodded absent-mindedly. but then chuckled at the irony. "Yeah. I finally get the chance to become Captain and look what happens."

Tang tried to reassure him with a little perceptiveness. "Maybe, sir, it was for the best. Maybe your destiny lies elsewhere."

Will looked long and hard at his friend before asking, "Are you talking about The Enterprise?"

Tang nodded and Will pulled a face as he thought about his options. Hell, he had no options now. His chance of captaincy had just been blown into a million and one particles. How long it would be before another chance came up? How long was it going to be before he was in a position to offer Deanna a life with him? He had decided long ago that he was not going to pursue her until he had achieved his single minded goal; To be captain. She deserved the best, and in his mind, the best was Captain's wife.

"It's not what I had in mind, Tang."

Tang shrugged, unable to see the younger man's logic. "What have you got to lose? The Federation's Flagship is nothing to be scoffed at. Only the best of the best will be picked to serve her. Being First Officer on the USS Enterprise would be a privilege, sir. You should not think of it as anything else but a privilege."

Tang waited while Will pondered on his remarks, but what Tang had purposely kept from him was that the ship was to be the first to have a Counselor on board, and only two days ago, Deanna had informed him that she had applied for the position. Tang was finally, at long last able to see the light at the end of the lovers very long tunnel. Deanna Troi and William T. Riker were to be reunited on the best ship ever to grace the universe. The waiting game was soon to be over, and nobody was happier than he was.

Chapter 4

~~~~~~~

One month later, Will's ship arrived at the planet Deneb 4, home of the newly constructed Farpoint Station, the Federation's latest Starbase. The base had been under attack by an alien life-force since it's completion and by the time The Hood had arrived, things had reached crisis point. Starfleet had despatched the USS Enterprise and the USS Starseeker to join forces against the alien. But it wasn't until the Starseeker had been destroyed that it came to light that the attacking alien was trying to free it's mate that had been captured by the planets inhabitant's, the Bandi. It had eventually taken the ships newly appointed Counselor to sense the Bandi's deception and to free the trapped alien.

Will returned to his own ship, tired, battle worn and in desperate need of some R & R, so was surprised when he was summonsed to his Captain's ready room.

Will stood before the man who he had come to greatly admire, puzzled at the smug smile that was upon the older man's face. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

DeSoto grinned at his first officer and indicated him to sit. "At ease, Will, I have some news for you."

Instantly Will was suspicious. "Oh, and what may that be sir?"

DeSoto decided to wind him up a little. "Your being transferred."

Will cautiously looked at his senior officer. "Oh, and where am I being transferred to, if I might ask?"

DeSoto smirked. "Farpoint Station."

Will simply stared at him before exploding with disbelief. "Planetside! Jesus Christ, Robert, I joined Starfleet to zoom around the galaxy in Starship's, not get my bloody ass planted on solid ground every five bloody minutes!"

Robert DeSoto began to quietly chuckle before falling about with laughter at Will's expression.

Will was not amused. "I hardly find it funny, sir, it's not you being stuck on some god-fore-saken ball of dirt that hasn't even got any decent looking women!"

As soon as he'd said the inane and ridiculous statement out loud, he found himself silently adding, *and she isn't there*

Another burst of laughter jsut about finished Will off. With an unaccustomed coarse word that told his Captain just exactly what he thought of his new mission, he made to leave the room. Robert DeSoto's laughter choked off as he finally realised that Will thought he was being serious and promptly called him back.

"Will! Will, come back, I was kidding you."

Will stopped as he reached the door. He looked back over his shoulder and his face still held it's murderous gleam. "That was not funny, sir."

Robert waved his hand mid air as he indicated for Will to resume his seat. "Sorry, Will, couldn't resist. But it was worth it just to see your face."

Will half hid the smile that played across his features. "Yes, well, my sense of humour was left behind with all the dead bodies that I've just had to catalogue."

DeSoto sighed, immediately sorry for his lousily timed jest. "Yes, you're right, forgive me. We lost too many lives this time. I'm sure this battle won't be forgotten for a very long time."

Will nodded and a poignant silence followed before Will quietly asked his Captain with a heartfelt sigh, "So, where am I being transferred to?"

Robert DeSoto looked at him blankly for a brief second as he brought himself back to the present, and grinned. "Huh? Oh, yes. Congratulations, Will, you're the new first officer of the USS Enterprise D."

Will was stunned, so stunned that he just sat and stared at his companion.

DeSoto continued, "Seems that the new captain...what was his name? Oh, yes, a Jean-Luc Picard...French, I guess. Anyhow's, it seems like he requested you personally. Heard about your heroic efforts on Nervala 4, and Turkana 4. Oh, and I gather someone you recommended from there is also on board the Enterprise, as head of security. Natasha Yar. Remember her?"

Will grinned, "I sure do. One hell of a gal,. I look forward to working with her."

Robert threw Will a knowing wink, "Yes, Will, I'm sure you are."

Will simply waggled his eyebrows, the Machiavellian grin and blue eyed sparkle pushing aside the last few days horrors at his welcome news.

Robert merely chuckled as he shook his head. "I'm going to miss you, Will, it's been a true pleasure having you watch my back. Picard is a lucky man. Hell, you're a lucky guy. This is the chance of a lifetime for you. Starfleet want you to return to Farpoint Station and tie up a few loose ends, and then you'll be reporting to the Enterprise, so I guess you've got to pack your bags and take them with you."

Both men stood and both reached for a hearty handshake. "Thank you, sir, it's been a fun."

DeSoto jumped in "Not as much fun as I'm going to have now your going. I might actually get a look in with the ladies now." Both men erupted with laughter as they exited the ready room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later and meeting up with the Enterprise's new doctor and her teenage son, Will soon found out that Doctor Beverly Crusher did not mince her words. Will, while trying to be super-clever and super-efficient by spouting off about collecting totally unnecessary information for his new captain soon got told in no uncertain terms that he was 'showing off'. Slightly singed, Will waited for word from his new commanding officer and within hours, the newly appointed chief engineer Geordi Laforge passed on the message that Captain Picard had requested his presence on board.

As he summonsed the transporter, little did he know that on board the Enterprise D, he was about to come face to face with the one person that had haunted his dreams. The one person that had helped him come through his already numerous close encounters with death. The soul reason for his very existence, to find again, to love again, and to rejoin the bond that had locked their two souls together for all eternity.

His Imzadi. Deanna Troi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 5

~~~~~~~~

~*~*~*~*~*~Captain Picard finished giving his first officer his orders as they both exited the ready room, Picard heard the turbo lift door open, and seeing who stepped from it, beckoned her to meet the latest recruit.

"Over here...I've asked the Counselor to join is in this meeting. May I introduce our new first officer, Commander William Riker. Commander Riker, this is our ships Counselor, Deanna Troi."

Will turned his gaze to the newcomer and for an instant, barely an instant, the name didn't register.

Until he felt her presence surround and embrace him.

Until his heart pumped so hard even she must have been able to hear it.

Until his feet refused to move as the shock moved in sending his body into an embarrassing statue mode.

Until his eyes met hers.

It was her. It was his Imzadi. After all this time, he had finally come face to face with his one true love.

The other half of him.

His destiny and everything in the universe came to a standstill as the two souls re-connected just for a moment.

Will's startled eyes met dark, sultry, confident one's and it rapidly became obvious that Deanna had known he was commissioned to the ship. If only he'd been given the opportunity to know that she was also assigned, he would have been more prepared for this moment.

His heartbeat ceased as he felt her mind connect with his.

*Do you remember what I taught you Imzadi? Can you still sense my thoughts?*

But her mouth said, "A pleasure, commander."

As his heart resumed it's steady beat, he knew he had to somehow answer her coherently.

But he inwardly cringed as he replied, "Likewise, Counselor."

But Picard was talking to him so he couldn't answer her. He couldn't ask her what he wanted to know and his mind raced through a myriad of silent questions.

*I wonder if she knows how much I want to take her in my arms right now*

*I wonder if she still loves me after all this time, after all what's happened*

*I wonder if we can continue where we left off*

*I wonder if she knows that I couldn't say goodbye*

But as they entered the turbo lift, Picard was animated when he realised that they knew each other, insisting that it was excellent that his key officers knew each others abilities. Both Will and Deanna hid the small smile as Deanna answered, "We do, sir"

Will's heart swelled as he heard her once more, "I too could never say goodbye, Imzadi"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Maybe, just maybe she had forgiven him and let bygones be bygones, but Will had a long wait until they could be alone to find out.

Working beside her for the next six or seven hours had been the longest, most frustrating time of Will's life. Watching her feel the intense pain from the trapped life force and the anger from it's mate, Will had wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and fight it along with her, but with everyone around, he could do no more than offer her comforting words, comforting thoughts and a gentle touch when ever he could.

But both were conscious that they had to talk.

They so desperately needed to talk.

The agonising wait for their respective shifts to end brought with it an intense relief when it finally arrived.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deanna paced her floor, her arms crossed protectively in front of her as she waited. She halted as she felt his arrival at her door and she took a deep, shaky breath and spoke through the solid metal.

"Come in, Will."

The door hissed open and the sight that greeted him stopped in his tracks. Stopping on the threshold, Will simply stood and looked.

Once more, time stood still as they faced each other again and Will's eyes swept down her body, taking in the transformation.

Gone was the starchy, unflattering uniform.

Gone were the hair restraints.

Gone was the barrier that held her traitorous emotions.

Before him stood a girl that had grown from a shy, highly intellectual teenager into possibly the most beautiful creature that he had ever set eyes on. Her hair was free and although slightly shorter than it used to be, it still cascaded past her shoulders in a ripple of never-ending ebony waves. Her dark peacock blue dress moulded her figure that had matured to delicious perfection.

But it was her eyes that captured him.

It wasn't the dark make-up that transformed them into exotic midnight pools, and it wasn't even the obvious pleasure of seeing him. It was more than that.

Deanna Troi had grown up.

He was now looking at a fully grown, mature woman.

A woman who knew what she wanted.

A woman who had got what she wanted.

So why did he suddenly think that he wasn't it.

Deanna was disappointed.

Her eyes fell from his face and down his long body. He still had on his uniform, and in that instant, she realised that Will Riker was pure Starfleet, through and through.

She had made a huge effort for her first private confrontation with him, and he had turned up in his uniform. But it was more than that and she could clearly see it as her eyes rested once more upon his face.

He hadn't changed. At all. He still looked exactly the same as he did when he was a brash, cocky lieutenant on her home planet.

And she was disappointed.

Will hesitantly stepped into her domain and the door quietly closed behind him.

He took another step closer to her.

On his way to her quarters, he had imagined Deanna running into his arms as soon as he'd gotten to her room and she would be crying with joy at their long awaited reunion.

But she neither ran, nor did she cry.

This wasn't going at all like he had hoped.

He tentatively held one arm out to her and as his eyes begged her to come to him, his mind pleaded. But it wasn't until he uttered the one word that broke down her now rigid posture. "Imzadi...?" The she finally relented.

It had been all Deanna had wanted to hear and she stepped into his waiting embrace with a sigh. Closing her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his waist, she let her mind empty of all the negative thoughts. She didn't want to remember her heartbreak on Risa, or the seven long years of waiting. But at that moment, the last thing she wanted to think about was her decision to not resume their intimate relationship.

Instead she lost herself in the magical feelings that washed over her as he in turn cradled her within his own heartfelt embrace. They felt so right together, fitted so right together, perfect even, but perfection had it's flaws and it was these minute flaws that filled Deanna's senses as she summoned up the strength to do what she had to do.

Things had gone too far now, for they both had achieved their own personal goals. Each of them had worked long and hard and dealt with their own assortment of miseries and troubles. Life had dealt them with some cruel blows and their relationship had been the cruellest of them all.

But they had each come out the other end of it, older and wiser and this was as far as they were going.

Will sensed the upheaval, the inner misery, and the finality within her and he had to make her see...to understand. He hugged her tighter as he whispered the agonising words that brought her back to the present and halted her breathing.

"I love you, Deanna, I have never stopped loving you, not for one minute."

Deanna gasped with dismay and tried to leave the circle of his arms, but he held on fast.

With her reticence, it was then he knew that things weren't going to go back to the way they were.

He knew.

Will knew what she was going to say but right at this moment he did not want to hear it. He felt an urgency build up within him as he needed to make her understand how much she meant to him before the years of waiting, wanting and aching went flying out of the nearest porthole.

Forcing her chin up with one hand as he kept her body still with his other, he tentatively kissed her. Relieved that Deanna didn't pull away, Will kissed her again. And then again, until he felt her slowly begin to melt into him and he deepened the kiss further, circling her lips with his tongue before delving into the sweetness of her mouth. Two groans became one as their very essences coupled once more and time went backwards to a magical moment in the Jalara jungle when two lost souls found each other for all eternity. A time when everything felt right to give each other the precious gift.

A bond.

A bond that bound them together, for no matter what happened in their lives, or however far apart, even in death, the Imzadi bond would keep their hearts, body's and souls intertwined forever.

They would always love each other.

Deanna felt the passion begin to build in the man that had once become her entire reason for living, that was until she had found another reason for living...herself. And it was with the deepest sorrow that she broke the intimate embrace and stepped back. Still hanging onto his arms, her legs unsteady with the fever of desire that smouldered between them, she watched as Will's eyes found hers. Still suffused with his own ardour, the smoky blue wonderment settled on the velvety, rich brown gaze of hers as he tried once more to make her understand,

"Do you still love me, Imzadi?"

Will's heart soared and then crashed to the floor when she told him her answer, "Yes, I do love you, Will, with all my heart, but we must not let this ever happen again."

Chapter 6

~~~~~~~~

Will was silent for several moments as he digested her words.

This was not what he wanted to hear.

He tried one last attempt to win her back and speaking harsher than he intended, he found himself almost growling at her, his hands holding onto her upper arms in a brutal grip, unleashed a pain that she almost welcomed to compensate for the pain that ripped through to her very soul as she destroyed the man standing before her.

"But I love you,goddammit! and I'm not going to give up that easily, not after everything. Not after all that we've been through together."

Deanna's bitter laugh cut him to the quick in as she deliberately pulled herself out of his hands. "Together, Will! We have done nothing together for the last seven years! Seven... whole... years! Deanna brokenly whispered the last few words. "Will, things have changed. We have changed."

Will tried again with the only word that seemed to have any effect, "Imzadi...please!"

Will watched as the tears welled in her eyes, unhappy that he had evoked that reaction, but perversely pleased that he could still do so. He stepped towards her again, but she held her hand up to stop him, her voice wavering as she spoke.

"No, Will, I can't do this. I can't let you destroy me again, I won't let you destroy me again. If you loved me...truly loved me, Will, you wouldn't do this to me again. If we're going to work together, this has got to be resolved here and now."

Will stepped away from her and paced her floor, for a moment unsure of what to say, but eventually figuring that he'd got nothing to lose, he ploughed in, "What about me, Deanna? What about what I want? I tried to get a message to you, I really tried, but you would not answer me. How in the hell was I supposed to talk to you, apologise to you when you wouldn't even acknowledge my communiques?"

Deanna watched Will prowl around the room. He was angry and he was hurt. But hell, she was hurting too, and if things were going to work between them, and she hoped with all her heart that they would, he would eventually understand her reasons why she was doing this to him.

To her.

To them.

Deanna could no longer take the hurt so, somehow, the hurting had to stop here.

Quietly she whispered more to herself than him, unable to look into his eyes, "When you didn't arrive on that last shuttle on Risa, something inside me died inside that day. I went back to Earth the next morning and for the next seven years, I worked until I dropped. I got my diploma, in record time, I had to face my friends, my colleagues, AND my mother with the humiliation that I had been dumped yet again by the infamous William T Riker."

She ploughed on. "But I can live with that now, Will, because I loved you enough to be able to put that behind me. But what will never leave me Will, is my memory of waiting for you to arrive on that last shuttle. Inside, I'm still waiting. I shall always be waiting."

Will stared silently at her as he watched the unshed tears finally trickle down her cheeks until her voice finally broke as she sobbed in earnest. "Please, Will, don't do this to me anymore."

Wretchedly, Will instantly pulled the broken woman back into his arms and held her tight as she cried and his own heart broke as he realised now just what he done to her.

What he'd done to them.

What they'd lost.

"I'm so sorry, Imzadi, please, please forgive me and I promise I will never, ever do that to you again, you have my word."

Gently lifting her chin, he wiped away a trail of moisture and lightly kissed her lips. He made his murmured vow with a heavy heart, but along side of the pain was relief. Relief that he hadn't entirely lost her.

"I swear to you, Deanna, that I'm here for you and I'll always be here for you, no matter what. If you'll let me, we'll be the very best of friends, and if you want more, that's o.k. too. But whatever happens, I will always be here, o.k.?"

Deanna nodded as a fresh wave of tears cascaded down her face, but these were tears of joy and she laughed, "Thank you, Will, for understanding, and I can't believe it, I'm crying over you again!"

Will chuckled and pulled her in for a huge hug and as the two rejoined soul-mates began another chapter in their lives, a wave of contentment settled between them, and as he kissed the top of head, he whispered. "At long last, we're together again, and this time, I'm not leaving you, Imzadi. We're here, together, and it's like we've finally come home and right now, I feel like I'm the luckiest man on Earth." ~***~***~***~***~
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