IMZADI - THE LOST CHAPTERS
The Unspoken Goodbye's
By Carol Sandford
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"What time do you leave, Will?" Deanna whispered, holding her breath as she looked into the eyes of the man she had fallen in love with, if possibly, even more deeply than before, and now it was getting close, so close for him to leave. She knew she was not going to be able to bear watching him transport away before her very eyes; to disappear into the far reaches of space, maybe for a few short months, maybe for a year, and maybe for evermore.

Not being deeply religious, Deanna had found herself beginning to pray almost constantly, but sometimes, she began to wonder if it was actually begging; begging for Will to come home safely to her. Begging for something to go wrong so that he didn't even have to go in the first place. And even though she was painfully ashamed to admit it, deep, deep down, she silently begged that their numerous and passionate lovemaking had created a child. Deanna ached to feel the weight of Will's baby inside her; hold it close to her breast, watch the miniature version of him growing tall and strong.

But rationally, she also knew that there were strict rules for members of Starfleet stationed on Betazed and they all, men and women, had to fitted with inhibitors. Deanna cringed inwardly as she remembered a comment made by a senior dignitary that she overheard "We can't have a bunch of those horny starfleet bastards wandering our streets!"

Will pulled her tight into his arms, forcing her to expel the breath that she was holding, his voice barely audible as he uttered the words that she didn't want to hear. "1800 hours, sweetheart." Squeezing her tighter still against him, he gently rocked her back and forth, his voice rumbling in his chest as he voice broke against her hair. "God, Dee, I don't want to leave you."

Deanna breathed in deeply, kissing his chest, taking in his scent, imprinting it forever in her head, never wanting to forget. The spicy aroma licked at her aching senses and she moved her hips experimentally against his. Will instantly reacted and he moaned at the familiar ache as she felt his response push against her.

"Make love to me, Will," She begged unashamedly. "one more time, please."

He gently held her away from him so that he could see her face. Her darkened and glistening eyes were huge as she faced him head on, her desperation written all over her delicate features as she whispered more urgently, afraid that he would refuse."Please?"

As if. As he swept her up in his arms and carried her back to his bed, only leaving it barely half an hour before, the sheets were still warm. Laying her gently down, he pushed aside the huge shirt that she had 'acquired' from his wardrobe, and running his hand down the length of her body, Will was once more in awe of her beauty and Deanna burned beneath the intensity of his gaze. Never again would anyone make her feel the way she felt when Will looked at her.

Reaching up she tugged at his shoulder, this time not even pretending to hide the plead. "Love me, Will."

Will swiftly took her hand and pinned it beside her side and whispered, his gaze still heating her body. "Soon, Deanna, I want to look at you, I want to take this memory with me when I go. Just hold on a little longer for me, please."

Deanna let her eyes fall shut as she let her mind fill with every passionate, loving and wondrous thought that flowed from the very depths of Will's soul. His breath lightly fanned over her bare skin, sending little ripples of anticipation throughout her body. She felt a feather light kiss touch her shoulder and reaching over, she clasped his head within her hands and forced his lips to meet hers. She'd had enough mental attention and now her body had began to scream for some of the physical kind.

Dragging one, long nail up the centre of his back, Will groaned at the sensation that rose within him as she got higher, squirming as the exactly the same nail made it's way back down. He jerked with surprise as she grabbed a healthy piece of his ass. hocked, his eyes flew open as he looked into her face, seeing the devilment there, the naughty grin teasing her mouth. It didn't take long to understand what was going on.

"I see," he grinned. "so the lady wants to play, does she?"

Deanna answered with a meaningful thrust of her pelvic area, her legs purposefully forcing their way in between his. Will shifted to accommodate her and at the same time wondered what she was trying to do.

Deanna shoved hard on his rib cage forcing him on to his knees. Shuffling her body down slightly she pulled his mouth down to hers, giving him a searing kiss that left him begging for more. But she surprised him again by shuffling down further still and kissed his neck, and then his chest, and then his nipples, squirming on his heating torso .

Now it was Will's turn to close his eyes and let the sensations wash over him. By the time she had gotten to the point of swirling her tongue around his tummy button, he was trembling with need. "Sweet Jesus, Dee, be a good girl will you? I'm only human, y'know?"

Will jerked as sensation after sensation rocked through him. It was all Deanna needed to egg her on and she teased him with with her tongue, the swirling motion making Will's body jerk as he synchronised his movements in time with hers. Eventually, though, he managed to still his body to relish every moment, every second until he could take no more.

But even so, he couldn't control the convulsions that began to rack his body as she brought him ever nearer to explosion and he reluctantly begged her to cease the torment. "Stop, Dee, please, sweetheart. Oh...my...god...Oh, Oh...!"

But then, through the haze of erotic delight, he heard and felt her laughing and he was mortified! Here he was, in ecstatic heaven, trying his hardest to not humiliate himself, and she was laughing at him. Disengaging his body from her ministrations, he pushed himself back down to her face level, puzzlement invading his features. Ready to chide her for her lack of sensitivity, he propped himself beside her until he realised that something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

"Deanna..." He whispered, his voice low with concern. "Deanna?" He tried again, feeling his heart tighten as he watched her face begin to crumble.

Her name being spoken triggered the dam that had slowly built up inside of her. The laughter trailed off and turned to wretchedness and Will watched horrified as Deanna began to cry, but not a normal tearful cry. It was Gut-wrenching, soul-destroying wail, that ripped his heart wide apart.

Will didn't know what to say or how to help her, so pulling her tight into his embrace, he mourned their impending separation along with her. But no matter how much he tried to comfort her, Deanna continued to cry as though her heart was bursting. So Will did the only thing that Will Riker knew how to do.

He kissed her.

As she sobbed beneath him, he kissed her. He forced his tongue into her mouth and holding her head still with his hands, he kissed her. As he relentlessly plundered her mouth, almost brutally, his own grief pouring into her, he kept on until their bodily needs began to overcome the heart's pain.

Seconds turned into minutes until he finally felt her sobs turn to hiccups. Then the hiccups eventually turned to moans, and as they began to make love, it was with the longing desperation that shattered every miserable emotion that had come from deep within their souls to culminate into a shared wave of orgasm that went on and on and on until eventually it ebbed away leaving them clinging to one another to gather the strength they would need to finally part. Wrapped within each others arms they soundlessly began to shed fresh tears, but who's tears were who were lost in the shared unspoken agony that enveloped them both.

A while later and emotionally exhausted, Will cradled Deanna until he heard her breathing become shallow and even. Gently easing his arm out from under her, he crept off the bed and unable to tear himself away from her, he simply stood looking down at the woman who had become the mainstay of his entire life.

But it was time for him to go and until they were united once more, this was their exodus.

Snatching back the choked sob that rose in his throat, he quietly gathered his clothes, slipped on his pants, and with one last long look at the sleeping form, he whispered, "I'm sorry. I can't say goodbye to you, darling, but I'll always love you, Deanna Troi, because you'll always be in my heart and mind forever." Will sighed deeply, took one last longing look at her and stepped outside the door, closing it silently behind him.

Deanna watched him leave through half closed lids, knowing in her heart that it was the best way to let him go. The only way. She knew she would probably have passed out if she had to watch him disappear before her very eyes and a solitary tear left it's well as she whispered to the closed door as his footsteps echoed down the hall. "Good journey, Imzadi. Just come back to me one day. I'll be waiting..."

She groaned at the renewed ache that welled inside her as the loss already began to make itself known inside her. "God, I'll be crazy waiting."

~~~~~~~~

Will almost collided with Lwaxana in his haste to escape the misery that taunted his escaping footsteps. Coming to a startled halt in front of her, he stared into the matching onyx eyes of the woman he had just left behind. Silently, she studied him intently and then she sighed as she spoke finally spoke. "I should hate you, Mr. Riker for what you have done to my daughter. But, I know she loves you deeply, and believe it or not, I, too was once in this exact same situation once a long time ago, so I know how you both are feeling right now. But I swear," She warned. "if you hurt her anymore than you already have, I shall pull every string, and I shall call in every favour owed to me, and have you kicked out of Starfleet. Do you understand me, Mr. Riker?"

Will wisely decided to say nothing, but curtly nodded, watching as she swept past him in a rush of perfume and material as she dragged her long gown behind her.

~~~~~~~~

Lwaxana had originally planned to say a lot more to Will and she had come with just that intent as well as to be there for her daughter when Will finally left her. But had been genuinely shocked at the depth of his feelings for Deanna. Half an hour ago she had arrived to try one more time to make them both see sense. She had almost knocked on his door when she heard her baby, and surprisingly, Will crying. Lwaxana's mind felt every ounce of the tragedy unfolding behind the solid door and panic almost made her intrude on probably the most traumatic moment her daughter was ever going to have to endure. But wisdom knew this was one moment in time when a girl did not want her mama, because right then, Deanna had needed Will.

She would be there for Deanna when Will was gone.

~~~~~~~~

Sergeant Tang was waiting in the transporter room for Will when he finally emerged ten minutes later. Will reluctantly came to a stop in front of his friend. Tang looked into the young man's face, reading his eyes as he watched the emotions play over the handsome features. He could see that Will wanted to say something, but he seemed to be unable to. Tang didn't know what to say, or how to help him, but Will understood, and as they stared onto each other's eyes they shook hands firmly. Tang grasped his hand with both of his and somehow the gesture filtered through and Will gave him a small, sad smile. But nothing was said until Will stepped onto the transporter pad.

Still watching Will, Tang spoke quietly to the technician. "Inform The Potemkin that Lieutenant Riker is ready to beam up."

Moments later his hail was heard and the permission granted. "Beaming up, sir."

Seconds before Will began to dematerialize, he finally found his voice and mouthed to Tang, "Look after her for me, friend."

Pride flared in Tang's eyes, and as his hand rose to touch his forehead, he saluted his pledge and whispered as Will shimmered out of sight. "You got it, sir."

Still laying on the bed that smelled heavily of their last intimate embrace and wrapped within her mothers arms, Deanna Troi bagan to wail as the light in her universe finally began to flicker out.

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Click here for Part 3, The Last Teardrops

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