Imzadi

THE MAN
by Carol Sandford
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I wanted to run and hide, but I couldn't. I wanted to scream at you with my thoughts to go away, but I couldn't do that either. I couldn't do anything as you came towards my table with 'her'.

I sometimes wonder if you ever really care about me at all. You seemed to go out of your way to rub it in that we aren't a couple and that you're going all out to prove it.

But this one seems to be holding your attention. This one had been more than a date. This one has been your constant companion for the past 3 weeks. A lifetime for you!

But what can I do? He is my friend and he wants me to be happy for him. He wants us 'all' to be friends, and I have to just, 'grin and bare it'.

And so I do. I found myself plastering on that infamous Troi smile and welcomed the two of them to my table.

Will's deep voice spoke softly to me, almost like he was silently begging me to allow the intrusion, "Hi, Deanna, mind if we join you for a while? You know Mel, of course."

I smiled wider. Not sure how, but I did it. "Hi, yourself, of course I know Mel. Hello. Please...sit down."

He signalled to the barman for a round of drinks as they settle themselves down and I try to think of something, 'anything!' to say to the woman, I opt for the obvious. "How are you liking it on board, Mel?"

I soon kick myself after when the two of them look lovingly at each other and grin like lovesick teenagers, "Oh, it's been wonderful! Everyone has been so nice to me."

{I'll bet they have!} The sour thought fills my mind but luckily never left my lips. "That's good, we are renowned for making new people feel at home." {Especially when they've jumped straight into a senior officers bed!}

Will groans, but not as much as I, as I know what as going to happen next. "On my way, Captain. Sorry ladies, gotta run. Can you look after Mel for me, Deanna, I shouldn't be long?"

WHY did I say, "Of course!"

We both watch his ass stroll out of the lounge and I wonder with amusement if she realises what's going through my mind. I try real hard to hide the smirk, but not too hard.

"Will tells me you two are close friends." It was an innocent enough question, I think. But then again.

I humiliate myself by spluttering into my cocktail. Oh Lord, what had he told her?!

"I...I, Yes, we are close friends, we've known each other a long time."

I look around nervously, everywhere and anywhere but at her.

"Before you came aboard the Enterprise?" She probes.

I nod non-commitedly, "Uh huh."

Now she nods thoughtfully, "I see. Did you go out with him?"

What could I say? I hope the truth hurts. "We were very young, and it was a long time ago."

I hoped that would throw her off. I hoped that she would think we were too young to have a relationship that defied all rhyme and reason. I hope that she never knew about Betazoids. I hope she never knew about Will's humongous reputation.

And, God help me, I hope she never knows how much we love each other.

She went on, "I did ask him about you, but he didn't say much other than that you were good friends and he thought a lot of you."

I almost fell through the floor when she continued,

"But he's my man now."

Aaaaah...so thats how it is. What could I do, what could I say?

"Well, I know that, and you have nothing to fear from me. It is true, he was my man, and he was my man before he became your man. And to be honest, if you left the scene, he would most certainly become my man again."

I leaned forward so that she could truly understand my point. "You see, Mel. The man that you have now, is the man that I made. That man means more to me than any other man in the universe and I'm just letting other people have fun with him once in a while. It does his ego good, you see. He is a man, after all."

I pushed myself to a stand, but leaned onto the table and stared her down. I give her credit, she held her ground, but at least I had now reduced her to silence. "Yes, Will Riker is your man for now. You can play with him, amuse him, make him feel like a million dollars. Hell, you can continue to f*** him! But...BUT remember, he will never love you. There is only one man that will ever love me, and that man is your man."

I walked out of there in a darned sight better mood than I went in, that's for sure!